Over the past two weeks I have received dozens of phone calls, text messages, emails, and blog comments from family, friends, state senators, and fantasy competitors, and they are all asking me the same thing: “Dave, how the hell do you come up with your weekly power rankings?”

Well foulliners, I have good news. Unlike Colonel Sanders, I am going to share with you my secret recipe of herbs and spices that allows me to compile the most accurate fantasy baseball power ranking.

Here you go.

1. Total Points
The team with the most total points in the league gets 10, second most 9, and so on and so forth all the way down to 1 point for the bottom of the barrel.

2. Streak
A team on a winning streak gets one point for every game in the streak. A team on a losing streak gets -1 for every game in the streak.

3. Fear Factor
This is simply how much fear that opponent would strike in me if I had to face them in that particular week.
There is a range from -5 for a team that doesn’t scare me at all to +5 for a team that scares the crap out of me.

4. Expectations
This part of the score adjusts for whether a team is over-performing or under-performing. Subtract up to 5 points if the team is playing better than they should, and add up to 5 points for a team that’s slumping.

And that’s it! Now you’ve seen what goes into the weekly rankings. SO PLEASE STOP CALLING!!

Hello Foulliners! What another exciting week of fantasy baseball. All the games went down to the wire Sunday and were a lot of fun to watch. After two weeks, some teams are starting to show their dominance while others are making it clear they need to pick their game up.

I took a look at Week 3’s schedule, and we have another round of great matchups. This week, in addition to the power rankings, I’m going to try and predict the winners of all the games.

Let’s start with an easy one:

the Haitian Hammer (2-0) vs. Yankeehaters (0-2)

This is the no-brainer of the week. This week the Haitian is the Hammer and the Yankeehaters are the nail.
WINNER: THE HAITIAN HAMMER

Rays Those Cowbells (1-1) vs. unsportsmanMike (0-2)

Mike got some good points from his outfield this past week and has an above-average rotation, but looking at his team, I’m not surprised to see him 0-2. What makes it worse is that he’s facing RTC fresh off the big win against the defending champions. Confidence is high in the RTC camp. Should be a cake walk.
WINNER: RAYS THOSE COWBELLS

chefdick (0-2) vs. Boston Badboys (2-0)

I don’t know much, but I do know that chefdick’s team is a lot better than his record. Chefdick has made a couple of brilliant moves that have improved his squad. When Cliff Lee returns in a few weeks, his already strong team will be even stronger. On the other hand, I still do not like the Boston Badboys team. They are the most overrated undefeated team in fantasy baseball. I guarantee that chefdick wins big this week.
WINNER: CHEFDICK in a blowout

Less than Zero (1-1) vs. Team One (2-0)

I think that this is going to be the game of the week. Both teams are solid top to bottom with great starting pitching. With equal pitching starts, this one is a coin flip. After scouring their lineups, I predict…
WINNER: TEAM ONE in a nail-biter

Love Boat Captains (1-1) vs. RedRays (1-1)

Fresh off a humiliating loss to Rays Those Cowbells, the LBCs will be highly motivated to take down the resurgent RedRays. The LBCs were hampered by cold hitters and mediocre pitching; this past week was an anomaly that won’t happen often this year. Meanwhile the RedRays’ Matt “Weird Beard” Garza and Adam Wainwright combined for 700 points this past week and promise to be fantasy studs all year long. Unfortunately for the RedRays, the rest of his starting lineup is average. Scott Kazmir, Colby Lewis, and Kevin Slowey are two-starts this week, and I’m not entirely sure that it’s a good thing. All three have the potential to put up huge negatives in points. I think this one will be close.
WINNER: LOVE BOAT CAPTAINS

You know what they say, if you can’t play fantasy baseball well, you can always write about fantasy baseball.

WEEK 2 POWER RANKINGS

1. Team One
2. Boston Badboys
3. Rays Those Cowbells
4. Less Than Zero
5. Love Boat Captains
6. the Haitian Hammer
7. RedRays
8. chefdick
9. unsportsmanMike
10. Yankeehaters

Good luck to all this week. Have fun!

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Our third season of fantasy baseball is under way, and I’m already noticing a common theme from previous years. It’s become a tradition for Team Yankeehater to get destroyed by Less than Zero in week one. It happens every year. Ugh!

Secondly, the damn Love Boat Captains always assemble a solid team and proceed to mow down the entire league. She’s on her way again.

Thirdly, Team Boston Badboys will score a million points one week, followed by a week where he barely cracks double digits.

And finally, Rays those Cowbells drafts a good team, only to have his players start dropping like flies to the injury bug.

One thing that promises to change this year: Team Yankeehater doesn’t plan on losing in the finals. Consider yourselves warned.

It’s early, but here are your thefoulline.com power rankings:

1. Love Boat Captains
   She’s not ranked #1 just because she’s the defending league champion. She’s #1 because she’s assembled a tough team from top to bottom. Not to mention, she may be the toughest trade negotiator in the league. Rays those Cowbells is going to have bad dreams about his LBC matchup next week… again.
2. Less Than Zero
   Halladay, Lester, Youk, Teixiera, McCann, Cano… a murderer’s row of fantasy excellence. LTZ drafts his ass off every year. Let’s see if he makes improvements during the season to go deep into the playoffs.
3. Boston Badboys
   The BBBs put up a ton of points this week and are worthy of a 3rd place ranking… for now. But I guarantee Vernon Wells will not hit 36 points again this season, and that shaky starting pitching will catch up to him. I predict that the Badboys will be watching the playoffs again this year.
4. Team One
   This autodrafted team loaded up on starting pitching and it’s paying off for him in a big way. I’m not sure he’ll rank this high all year — he has a few glaring holes in his lineup. But as I think we all know, pitching wins ball games, even in the fantasy world.
5. chefdick
   Any team that has Albert Pujols on it has to be in the top five. Add Evan Longoria, Matt Kemp, and Kendry Morales, and you have a team that will be tough every week. The chef may have cooked up a stinker this week, but I don’t think anyone will be looking forward to playing him this year.
6. the Haitian Hammer
   At the time I’m writing this, Team HH is in a dogfight with his brother-in-law. This is another team that’s loaded with starting pitching. I’m just not sure I would count on a lineup that features an infield consisting of Dan Uggla, Orlando Cabrera, and Chipper Jones. He definitely has the trade chips if he’s looking to improve.
7. RedRays
   This team every year is like the little engine that could. He puts together a team of good, not great, players and competes his butt off every year. Team RedRays has a knack for finding the diamond in the rough. I’m sure he’ll kick my butt in week two.
8. Rays Those Cowbells
   I could have put RTC anywhere from 5-8 in the rankings. I decided on 8 due to the fact that he has the defending champion LBCs in week two and could be staring at a 0-2 hole to start the year. But with good pitching, above-average hitters, and a willingness to deal to make his team better, Dan won’t be in the 8-hole much longer.
9. unsportsmanMike
   Another victim of the dreaded autodraft. Team UM includes some above-average pitching led by King Felix, but his closer situation is god-awful. Mike took a big step forward today by picking up Trevor Hoffman from the Badboys. This team just doesn’t strike a lot of fear in me. But unsportsmanlikeMike is new to the league and a serious wildcard, so we’ll see how he responds to his week-one shellacking.
10. Yankeehaters
    The no-brainer of the week. My team sucks. I have a million pitchers, and they all stunk it up this week. Is it possible for them ever to get their stuff together?? Who knows? Maybe I should make another trade??

23 weeks and counting until the playoffs. Good luck everyone!

Change is important. The prospect of change is what led to Barack Obama becoming our 44th president. And when it came to the off-season for the Boston Red Sox, change was very good.

I love the improvements that Theo Epstein made to his lineup. Say goodbye to Jason Bay, Billy Wagner, Takashi Saito, and Alex Gonzalez. Au revoir to seeing Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek as everyday players. It’s time to say hello to the new guys that are going to lead the Red Sox to the 2010 World Series.

John Lackey

The best available pitcher on the market is now locked up for five years in Boston. Lackey is a bulldog that will give the Sox another #1 pitcher that will win 15+ games and throw 200 innings. A trio of Jon Lester, Josh Beckett, and John Lackey has to scare the crap out of the New York Yankees. Great move.

Marco Scutaro

Here’s a guy that defends his position well, hits for average, steals a few bases, and solidifies the shortstop position until Jose Iglesias is ready, hopefully in two years.

Mike Cameron

37-year-old centerfielders aren’t usually my cup of tea, but the word around MLB is that Cameron is a great clubhouse guy, plays Gold Glove defense, and has a swing tailor-made for smacking doubles off the Green Monster. He’ll be another bridge for the Sox young outfielders.

Adrian Beltre

This guy didn’t hit his weight last year, fractured one of his testicles (doesn’t wear a cup), and was rumored to be asking for a 5-year, $65 million free-agent contract. Boston landed him on a 1-year, $10 million deal. He’ll be a huge improvement defensively over the aging Mike Lowell. He plays a sick 3rd base and has a laser-rocket arm. I think he’ll hit 25 homeruns, bat .270 and win the Gold Glove.

The great thing about these moves is that it didn’t cost Boston any of its prospects. If these moves falter, Theo Epstein still has the resources to make a significant deal at the trade deadline.

Pitching and defense wins championships. Boston is poised to win another one.

I enjoy watching the NFL for about three weeks, then I’m bored out of my mind.

I couldn’t care less if Brett Favre plays another year or which Manning is going to the Super Bowl. I’m tired of running backs running into the butts of their offensive lineman and quarterbacks with their special “do not hit” rules. I’ll watch the Superbowl, but believe me, I’m counting down the days until Spring Training.

There are people that complain that the baseball season is too long. These people are either communists or Pittsburgh Pirate fans. I’m all for extending the season another 30 games. I’ll gladly take 200 games of baseball over 16 weeks of football.

So here it is, the Top 22 reasons that baseball is the best sport around (in no particular order).

1. The Boston Red Sox – America’s Team. Some may dispute this, but they are wrong. Boston is the model franchise in MLB – good farm system, an ownership not afraid to spend money, players that stay out of the police blotter. Always in contention. Tradition. Fenway Park. Yankee fans can suck it.
2. Getting to the park early to watch batting practice.
3. Manicured fields and the smell of freshly cut grass. Well, maybe not at Tropicana Field.
4. Fantasy baseball is a thousand times better than fantasy anything else.
5. Watching the game, eating a hotdog, drinking a cold beer.
6. Very few face painters in the stands.
7. If you act like a jackass after hitting a home run, you get nailed in the back your next at bat. Meanwhile, football players celebrate every tackle like they just cured cancer.
8. Red Sox vs. Yankees
9. Albert Pujols and Joe Mauer, two great examples of professionalism and loyalty to their teams.
10. Winning the All-Star game actually means something. Why is the Pro-Bowl even televised? It blows.
11. Breaking up the double play.
12. Having the balls to try to steal home.
13. Walk-off home runs
14. I know they’re jackasses, but I really like Joe Buck and Tim McCarver calling the Fox Saturday afternoon game.
15. The Rays going from worst to first in one season.
16. Players not talking to the pitcher throwing a no-hitter.
17. Every elite closer having their own walk-in music from the bullpen.
18. You hit one of my stars, I hit one of yours.
19. MLB trading deadline, the most exciting day of the year.
20. Buying a new Red Sox hat every year.
21. The hit-and-run
22. The double switch

This list could be a thousand lines long. Baseball is awesome.

Pitcher and catchers report in 20 days!

I wrote a post Monday stating that the New York Yankees are the best team in baseball and are poised to finally land their 27th World Series title. I didn’t get into a lot of the details on why I felt this way, because I thought I was pretty much stating the obvious.

After reading some comments that disagreed with the post, I figured the thing to do was to plug all the players, stats, and information into thefoulline.com’s supercomputer and find out for sure which team is the best. So, I’ve ranked the positions of the three teams that are the cream of the crop in the AL East: New York, Boston and Tampa Bay.

If I were a General Manager, these are the guys I would want.

First Base

1. Mark Teixeira
2. Kevin Youkilis
3. Carlos Pena

This position was pretty close. All three guys are Gold Glove-caliber players with some pop in their bats. Teixeira has more power than Youkilis, Youkilis has a better batting average than both guys, and Pena grew up in the next town over from me. Each guy brings a lot to his respective team, but if I were starting a team and could pick a prototypical first baseman, it would be Teixeira.

Second Base

1. Dustin Pedroia
2. Ben Zobrist
3. Robinson Cano

Pedroia is the reigning MVP and has emerged as a team leader for the Red Sox. All-Star, Gold Glove, Rookie of the Year – this guy has already had a great career and he’s only been around for three seasons. Zobrist has emerged this year as the all-purpose All-Star for the Rays who delivers big hits in the clutch. Although he doesn’t have much of a track record, he’s reliable at any position; I’m still waiting for this guy to play catcher. Cano has had an up-and-down last couple of seasons, but this enigmatic Yankee can hit for average with above-average power. What knocks Cano to third is his inconsistent defense and mental lapses on the basepaths.

Shortstop

1. Derek Jeter
2. Jason Bartlett
3. (Distant 3rd) Whichever has-been SS Boston has thrown out there this year

Derek Jeter wears his pants too tight, but the Yankee captain always delivers in tight situations. Just when I thought Jeter was on the decline, he puts up a monster year and is the AL MVP. Speaking of MVPs, Jason Bartlett was the St. Petersburg Devil Rays Most Valuable Player in 2008. He provides the Rays with solid defense and is among the league leaders in batting average, and he’ll be a top 5 shortstop in 2010. As for Boston: Julio Lugo, Jed Lowrie, Alex Gonzalex, Nick Green… enough said.

Third Base

1. Evan Longoria
2. Alex Rodriguez
3. Mike Lowell

As much as I love Mikey Lowell, this is obviously a two-horse race. Longoria is going to be a Hall of Famer and arguably one of the best third baseman of all time. Meanwhile, A-Rod is a steroid-using, Madonna-dating douche bag that can also play some ball. Not to mention, A-Rod is still owed a billion dollars on his contract and is playing with one hip.

Outfield

1. Bay/Ellsbury/Drew
2. Crawford/Upton/Gross
3. Damon/Cabrera/Swisher

Carl Crawford is the best all-around outfielder out of all these players, and Upton is the best defender, but BJ is still living off his amazing ‘08 postseason and has done absolutely nothing all year. The fact that Gabe Gross has a Major League job blows my mind. Boston’s triumvirate is superior as a whole; all three Red Sox outfielders are all-around solid players with base stealing ability. J.D. Drew drives me nuts and is overpaid, but he has the tendency to come up big when it counts. I love to watch the Yankee outfielders play. Johnny Damon makes every routine pop-up an adventure, I’m certain that I have a better throwing arm than Nick Swisher, and who the hell names their kid Melky? New York will upgrade this position in the offseason with either Matt Holliday or Jason Bay.

Catcher

1. Victor Martinez
2. Jorge Posada
3. Dioner Navarro

Martinez is a great hitter but a defensive liability behind the plate. Posada can still hit, but he’s getting old and dinged up. Navarro is hitting .221 and has fallen off considerably in 2009. This is the weakest of all the positions. I’ll take V-Mart.

Starting Pitchers

1. Josh Beckett/Jon Lester/Tim Wakefield
2. James Shields/Matt Garza/Jeff Niemann
3. CC Sabathia/A.J. Burnett/Andy Petitte

This was the toughest choice for me. I ranked this one on who I thought I would want to pitch in a five-game series. I’m obviously unsure who would be in each team’s rotation, but I’m guessing that this is pretty close. Boston has the best big game pitcher in baseball in Josh Beckett, the best left-hander in the the AL in Jon Lester, and an oft-injured 50-year-old knuckleballer in Wakefield. I would have felt better if Dice-K had been better this year, but I like this threesome. As for the Rays, Shields has the “big-game” moniker but has taken a step backwards this season. Garza was lights out last year in the playoffs but has become average. Jeff Niemann is a rookie, but he shows the poise of a veteran and has been Tampa’s best pitcher. If Garza takes his psychiatric medication and Shields regains his form, these guys could be tough. New York has the most money committed to their pitchers, but with the exception of Andy Petitte, no one has had post season success. Until CC and A.J. can prove themselves in the playoffs, they’ll bring up the rear.

These three teams are going to beat each other up for a long time. But with the playoffs right around the corner, I think Tampa will be odd man out. It’s close, but here’s how I rank them:

1. Yankees
2. Red Sox
3. Rays

With only four short weeks before the playoffs, it is officially crunch time, and if our second thefoulline.com fantasy baseball league has shown us anything, it’s to expect the unexpected.

Did anyone really believe that we would have a McLaughlin-free post season? Or that Nevershortonstops could truly be playoff spoiler? Also, has anyone heard from the Boston Not-So-Badboys lately? Just when we think we have it all figured out, cellar-dweller Dirty Water Dogs comes within 2 points of taking out league-standout Rays Those Cowbells.

The smell of the playoffs is in the air. So what better way to ready ourselves than with a thefoulline.com Power Ranking?

1. Yankeehaters

Best record, most points, team finally hitting its stride. But I’m just stating the obvious. I plan on being in the final four.

2. Rays Those Cowbells

Good teams find a way to win. Even though it wasn’t pretty, RTC still added another one in the win column. These guys are simply too talented for another performance like this. RTC and LBC meet this week, and I’m giving the edge to Rays Those Cowbells.

3. Love Boat Captains

Ho hum, another win against a McLaughlin. The LBCs have stumbled over the past month and have a really tough match-up this week. The East Division and a definite playoff spot are on the line.

4. Sarasota Red Rays

These guys have been lights out against the far superior West Division this year, going 7-3 against them. Unfortunately for him, he is 5-5 against the (L)East division. With games left against LTZ, Yankeehaters, RTC, and LBCs, Sarasota Red Rays has his work cut out for him, but I still like his chances for the postseason.

5. Less than Zero

Really? You lost to NeverShortonStops? I’m still not sure how that happened. The playoff picture is getting a little fuzzy for our Canadian friend, but one thing for sure is that you can never count him oot.

6. Bostonbadboys

Even in the midst of a five-game losing streak, BBB is still in the playoff hunt. He really needs his pitching on track and a lot of luck to advance to the next round.

7. The Tek’s Message

Joe Mauer and Hanley Ramirez have carried this team team all year, and the reemergence of Cliff Lee has helped a lot. But even with a solid lineup and big-name pitchers, it’s too little, too late for The Tek’s Message.

8. Boston Braves

Hey, have you heard? The Boston Braves won the Fantasy title last year… zzzzzz… That’s old news. I was really hoping Dave Mc would challenge for another title, but when you throw out six crappy pitchers, all the starts in the world aren’t going to help. This tactic is played out. I have two more questions, Dave Mc. Who the hell is Bud Norris? And why in the world would you start him? Thanks for finally allowing me to beat you.

9. NeverShortonStops

After Dylan took out LTZ last week, I am officially nervous about facing him. Is there any chance that Dylan forgets to set a legal lineup? Or is playoff spoiler his new motivation? This is going to be a far more interesting week than I had hoped.

10. Dirty Water Dogs

Matt Mc’s team came way too close to knocking off RTC this week, which may have led to RTC having a nervous breakdown. Thanks for taking it easy on him, Matt. I hope you are a contender next year. The league is more fun with you talking smack and making trades.

Good luck to everyone this week… even you, Dave Mc.

I’m the biggest Sox fan I know. The Red Sox can do no wrong in my eyes, and the Yankees are the most evil team in the universe.

Who doesn’t prefer the quaintness of Fenway Park over the sterility of the new Yankee Stadium? Who doesn’t prefer hanging Sox over pinstripes? Or Pedroia over A-Rod?

That’s what makes writing this post so difficult. The Yankees are without a doubt better than Boston, and are arguably the best baseball team I’ve seen in the past several years.

I used to argue that New York bought championships, that they couldn’t develop any of their talent and relied on throwing buckets of money at any and all high-profile free agents. Take Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, just to name the 2009 off-season. They committed over $200 million to three guys? I thought that this was a bad thing, and horrible for baseball.

But the more I think about it, I can’t help but think that they’ve got the right idea, and maybe Boston should get off their pocketbook and throw some cash around. Can you imagine if Theo Epstein had given in to Teixeira’s demands and given him an additional ten million? They would be running away with the division. Instead, they get to face him 19 times each of the next eight years, and we’ve already seen how that’s worked out.

Epstein thought it would be better to sign low-cost, potentially high-reward players in John Smoltz, Brad Penny and Takashi Saito, all of whom have equated to bust, bust, bust. To make matters even worse, Boston is now trying to add 38-year-old Billy Wagner. Wagner is fresh off Tommy John surgery and is due to be paid $8 million this year. That’s a lot of money to pay four aging ex-all-stars, all past their prime. What’s next, is Theo Epstein going to make a run at Sandy Koufax?

The last high-profile free agents that Boston signed have been Edgar Renteria, J.D. Drew, Julio Lugo and Dice-K Matsuzaka. I just threw up in my mouth.

If Boston’s free agent scouting was half as good as their farm development, they could avoid these money-pit signings and land some real talent. Is it time to start looking at a new General Manager in Bean town?

I hate that the Yankees are better than Boston. I hate that this may be the norm for the next several years, unless the Red Sox change their off-season approach. I hate that the Yankees are arrogant douche bags that are far too clean shaven for my liking.

But what I hate most, is that New York is primed to win their 27th World Series title this year.

Ex-Indianapolis Colts Coach Jim Mora may not have wanted to talk about the playoffs years ago, but here at thefoulline.com headquarters it’s all about the making the postseason.

After 19 weeks of fantasy baseball at its finest, it’s still up in the air which teams will advance to the final four. I’ve spent the last several weeks scouring lineups, analyzing upcoming schedules, and evaluating free agents, all in anticipation of writing which teams are Playoff Pretenders and which are Playoff Contenders.

Pretenders

Dirty Water Dogs
Was it only last season that Matt McLaughlin was making deals and putting together a unprecedented nine-game winning streak on his way to making it to the playoffs? This year, Team DWD got off to a slow start and has not been able to recover. These Dogs definitely don’t cut the mustard.

NeverShortonStops
The good news is that Dylan has set his lineup. The better news is that he has a chance of taking down Less than Zero this week and playing playoff spoiler. The bad news is that NSOS will be watching the fantasy playoffs from the comfort of his new house.

Boston Braves
The defending champs will not make the playoffs. I repeat, the defending champs WILL NOT MAKE THE PLAYOFFS! If I say this enough times it may actually come true. I believe that Dave Mc’s two-start pitcher strategy has run its course, and he will not have enough in the tank to overtake LBCs or Rays Those Cowbells. You put up a good fight this season, Dave. Now it’s time to crown a new champion.

Boston Badboys
These guys took the league by storm at the beginning of the year, riding the coattails of Albert Pujols. But suspect starting pitching and a revolving door of mediocre shortstops have led to his demise. There isn’t enough tapioca pudding in the retirement home to ease the dissatisfaction of this missed opportunity.

The Tek’s Message
I swear that this is not an anti-McLaughlin post. It’s just that when I look at their respective teams and upcoming schedule, it’s easy to deduce that we will have a McLaughlin-free playoffs. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that we could combine the rosters of all three Mc-teams into one “Super Team,” and they still would not make it to the postseason. Of course, I also anticipate that the McLaughlin household will bust their butts in the offseason to ensure that they don’t miss the playoffs in 2010.

Contenders

Love Boat Captains
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the LBCs running all over the league? Am I the only one that was happy to see her drop two big games in a row? Am I the only one who noticed that she has righted the ship and is back to form? Am I the only one worried about facing her in the playoffs?

SarasotaRedRays
These guys have been flying under the radar for most of the season, even with AL MVP Mark Texiera and the dynamic duo of Roy Halladay and Justin Verlander on his roster. SRR has four really tough games to finish the season. If he splits those games, I predict he makes it to the final four.

Rays Those Cowbells
If you ever want to have “roster-envy” go check out Dan the #1 Rays Fan’s lineup. He has a “Who’s Who” of starting pitchers in Lincecum, Haren, Peavy, Oswalt, and Lackey, mixed with a murderer’s row of hitters led by Carl Crawford, Ian Kinsler, and Carlos Quentin. The problem with this team is getting them all on the field at the same time and having them perform to their capabilities. If this team stays healthy, watch out. This fantasy baseball rookie is the real deal.

Less Than Zero
Although LTZ has been considerably more quiet this season than last, there is still no one in the league that ever looks forward to playing this high-scoring machine of a team. LTZ has led the league in weekly scoring five times this season and is always a threat to crush his opponent.

Yankeehaters
For someone that dislikes the Yankees as much as I do, I sure have a lot of Yankees on my team. Believe me, I’m not proud of it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. After spending the majority of the fantasy season in my division’s basement, I’m back where I belong, in first place with the most points in the league. Team YH is finally playing to its potential and peaking at the right time. My only regret is that I won’t have the chance to avenge my loss in the finals last year to the Boston Braves.

If the playoffs started today, these would be the match-ups:
#1 Yankeehaters vs. #4 Rays Those Cowbells
#2 Love Boat Captains vs. #3 Less Than Zero

Of course there are four very tough weeks of fantasy baseball left, and it is still anyone’s game. Good luck to all… except the Boston Braves of course.

I was going to write a post last Saturday, on the eve of our second fantasy season. I was going to make some bold predictions on who I thought had the top teams and who would go on to fantasy baseball immortality. I was going write about who I thought were the draft winners, and who I thought really had their work cut out for them. I was going to show what the winning T-shirt design was going to be.

I am really glad I didn’t.

This first week was Bizarro baseball, even in Fantasyland. Who would have thought CC Sabathia would go -20? Followed by Cy Young Award winners Cliff Lee and Tim Lincecum, with Roy Oswalt, Cole Hamels, and Brandon Webb all following suit?

Who could have imagined the Boston Braves and his auto-picked lineup, rising from the dead to knock off the Dirty Water Dogs? Who could have predicted that Dylan would field a team with a reasonable number of shortstops and dominate in week one?

And who could have possibly conceived that Team Yankeehater would get absolutely destroyed?

So once again I plan on doing a weekly post appropriately titled, The Good, the Not-So-Bad, and the Ugly.

Where is your team going to end up?

THE GOOD

Less Than Zero:
When I saw that I was facing LTZ to start the season, I began to reminisce about our battles from 2008. It seemed like every game went down to the wire. Unfortunately, this game was over by Tuesday. LTZ fields a team of proven stars mixed with a few diamonds in the rough. I know I’m wishing I picked Josh Johnson or Erik Bedard right about now. LTZ, I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you a better match this week, but I’m not sure anyone could have.

Never Short on Stops:
Do not adjust your computer screens. You are reading that correctly. NSOS is making the first of what may be many stints on the Good side of this column. Solid pitching, tough lineup top to bottom. Nice drafting, Dylan.

Rays Those Cowbells:
I’ve known for a while that Dan the #1 Rays Fan knew his stuff. He’s always quick with an informed opinion and always has well thought-out comments. I think we we would be really good friends if he didn’t like those bastard Rays. Am I surprised that RTC had a great draft, then subsequently improved his already strong team with a great trade? In a word, nope.

THE NOT-SO-BAD

Boston Braves:
There is no team in the league that I would rather see lose than the Boston Braves. He auto picks his team, picks up crappy 2-start pitchers (i.e. Hiroki Kuroda), starts the week off down by a bunch, and then manages to rally back and win. I am at a total loss for words right now. Will someone please beat this guy in week two!?

Sarasota RedRays:
At the time I’m writing this, SRR’s game with team Love Boat Captains is still up in the air. Regardless of the outcome, SRR deserves to be in this group. His team features the re-emergence of Troy Tulowitzki and a pitching staff that is throwing the ball great and stacking up points. SRR is going to be tough all year. I just wish I could figure out if he was a Red Sox fan or a Rays fan.

Love Boat Captains:
One of these days, my lovely wife’s team is going to really destroy her opponent. It’s going to be one of those weeks where the game is over by Wednesday afternoon. It’s going to happen eventually. I think. Every week, without fail, this team is in a nail-biter. Keep track of LBC this season. You’ll see a good team that plays hard every week, and it seems like every conceivable thing that can go wrong will. How does she still manage to pull out more that her fair share of victories? I have no idea.

THE UGLY

Yankeehaters:
If there was a really god-awful ugly column, Team YH would headline it, and I have no idea how it’s happening. I really 100% genuinely like my lineup. I like them so much that I’ve only traded one away. I don’t plan on staying down here in the ditch too long. Things are going to change this week. I hope.

Dirty Water Dogs:
If there was a stat for smack talking to his dad, Matt Mc would have won by a thousand points this week. Unfortunately, CBS keeps track of hits, walks, HRs, and wins and losses. Looking at Matt’s lineup, I don’t love his team, even with the two-headed catching monster. But they sure as hell can play better than they did this week. I guarantee that Matt’s pitchers won’t have a repeat performance of week one in the future, and by the end of the season the Dirty Water Dogs will be Showstoppers.

The Tek’s Message:
I know only a few things about young Dan Mc. I know that he auto-picked his team. I know that he comes from a strong baseball lineage, and I’m pretty sure that he won’t be sub-200 points again this season. Any team that features Hanley Ramirez, Carlos Beltran, and Matt Holiday will put up some big numbers. This is just the first-week initiation, Rookie. You’ll be OK.

Boston badboys:
All winter long I’ve been listening to my old man prattle on and on about how he was going to kick my ass in fantasy baseball this season. Well, take a look around, Pop, we’re a couple of cellar-dwellers. To make it even more interesting, we play each other in week 2, which means one of us will be back in the basement next week. With your team as busted up as it is, I don’t plan on it being me.

Good luck to everyone in week two.

Everyone except Dave Mc, that is.