Circle the wagons

Have you ever noticed that Yankee fans are only fans when their team is winning? Earlier this season, when New York was 14 games out of first place, there were no Yankee fans to be found. I have friends who are Yankee fans, and they would act like they had no idea that the season even begun. These guys would say stuff like, “I don’t follow baseball anymore,” or “I’ve always been a Mets fan,” knowing damn well that their team was stinking up the American League.

Unfortunately, with the recent success of the Evil Empire, the Yankees’ obnoxious, foulmouthed fans are back out of their parents’ basements and cheering on the boys in pinstripes. Over the past month, Yankee fans are suddenly back on the bandwagon. My friends are back to wearing their Yankee caps, spouting how great Joba Chamberlain is, being the fair-weathered fans that I’ve grown accustomed to. It’s going to be really fun to see them go back in their holes when Boston wins the division.

During my trip to Disney World this week, I was in a gift shop with my 3-year-old daughter. I was wearing my Red Sox hat, minding my own business, when a fat, hairy woman who looked like she belonged on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride came up to me and said, “The Red Sox are choking! Ha ha, cackle cackle.” Which was really original. After looking at her name tag, which said “Helga, Bronx, New York,” I replied “You must be a Yankee fan”. She snorted, “Yeah, 26 rings, they’re the best.” Now, there should be a rule: if you’re fat and ugly, you should at least have a good personality. She had none of the above. I wasn’t planning on getting into a debate with this crazy broad over the Red Sox/Yankees history, but then my daughter looked up from the Mr. Potato Head she was checking out and said, “Daddy, the Yankees stink.”

And that’s the difference between Red Sox fans and Yankee fans. Even the youngest Sox fans don’t know what a bandwagon is.

4 Responses to “Circle the wagons”

  1. MaticusNineO Says:

    At the game Friday night, There was a livid Devil Rays fan (they exist after all) that was calling the Boston fans in my secton fair weather fans. This guy a row in front of me, (that actually caught Lowell’s HR), Lifts his pant leg to reveal a Boston B on his leg and replys, “Yeah I just hoped on, buddy, have another one.” It was great.

  2. Christian McCrory Says:

    I was at the game with maticus and uh the tattoo incident was the greatest thing I had seen all year. I would also like for you to tell your daughter that she is the coolest little kid ever! And finally i’d like to make a side note to the four devil rays fans, If you guys spent half as much time cheering for your team as you do bashing other teams/getting hammahd and aressted you’d probably be a decent fan base and maybe your team would get pumped and play some decent ball. but then again i doubt cause lets face it there are only like four of you.

  3. Dave Says:

    Thanks for the comments guys. I’ve been working on both my kids since they were little. They learned, mom, dad and Go Red Sox as their first words. It’s nice to see it’s paying off.
    As for the D’Rays, they have a lot of good young players. If they could get more then 1000 fans in the stands. Maybe the team would play harder for them. As it stands, these players already have one foot out the door, looking for a team that wants to win. The Rays need to increase their payroll and lock these guys up for many years. This will show fans that they are serious about winning. But I’m not going to hold my breath on that happening.

  4. Dave's Wife Says:

    In our family, our preschoolers know that bad person = Yankee fan. My four-year-old was in the car when I got cut off in traffic. He said, “Mom, that guy’s a Yankee fan.” That’s the worst insult he knows.

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