Damn Yankees

After watching last night’s Red Sox/Yankees game, I was not in any mood to post something today. But I thought it might be therapeutic to write some of the reasons that I hate the Yankees so much.

  1. I hate Derek Jeter’s smug little cocky smile. I would like to punch him in the face. Unfortunately, he’s too busy rounding the bases against the Sox.
  2. I hate the Yankee pinstripe uniforms. Why are these so acclaimed? They are the ugliest uniforms in all of baseball, and the interlocking N and Y are stupid.
  3. I hate that the Yankees will have retired uniform numbers 1-10 once Jeter and Torre have retired. This bugs me. I don’t really have any legitimate reasons why.
  4. I hate Yankee Stadium. It’s a giant toilet bowl filled with the most obnoxious turds on the planet.
  5. Johnny Damon and Roger Clemens. These guys had the potential to be legends in Red Sox history. They could have walked into any bar and never needed to pay for a beer. Unfortunately for them, they are both money-grubbing-whore traitors.
  6. I hate that Yankee fans use their 26 World Series titles to trump any argument. Here is a new argument for you: How many have been in this decade?
  7. I hate that Joe Torre looks like Droopy Dog. This was one of the few cartoons I liked as a child. Now when I see it, I violently throw up.
  8. I hate that Mariano Rivera enters the game to Metallica’s “Enter Sandman”. Rivera grew up in Panama. Something tells me he wasn’t rocking out to Metallica’s Black album.
  9. I hate Joba Chamberlain. He is a head hunting, lard ass piece of crap. Joba, here are two words of advice: Stair Master.
  10. I hate that the New York Yankees may be the best team in baseball this year.

I feel a little better now. Check back tomorrow. I like the Red Sox chances today with Josh Beckett on the mound.

6 Responses to “Damn Yankees”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    hey mr dave I hope the venting made you feel better.. I thought it was a true red soxes FAN statement. you must have had a great dad to bring you up right.. go boston………. 33

  2. Dave Says:

    I’ll feel a lot better if the Sox take the next two games. As for my Dad, I think he did a pretty god job.
    Thanks for commenting.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    saturday nite WOW GO SOXES~!!!!!!!!!!.. THE NATION IS HAPPY,,,,,,,, AMEN!! LETS KICK ROGERS ASS SUNDAY.. PS I still like the pats…..33


  4. Anonymous Says:

    The 26 rings statement makes me want to put 26 rings on one hand and punch every fair weather yankee fan in the face. Why? because it’s the best comeback they’ve had, since, well, ever. Boy, you guys didn’t look good on the mound last night. oh yeah? well, 26 Rings!!!!!!! Man, looks like Jeter couldn’t come through in the clutch with runners one. 26 rings Mother F**ker!!! They’re like the incredibly unintelligent bully in school who could possibly kick you ass, possibly not, but would always come back with the same, retarted, un thought out response. Maybe coming in second in the AL east will create some haste and lead to at least some wit this off season.

  5. Dave Says:

    Punching a Yankee fan with 26 rings on one hand is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Nice job on these comments as usual. Thanks for commenting.

  6. MaticusNineO Says:

    Couldnt agree more with the list of thing to hate about the Yankees.

    Its it just me or do you have to be a lard ass or latino to be in the Yankees bullpen. The only guys to ever come out of there are heavyset somewhat bearded men or latinos. I think George has a typecast for guys like himself or talent no one has ever heard of during his Private Flights to Equador and Panama.

    I hate Steinbrenner too, and Cashman.

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