And then there was one. After another exciting week of fantasy baseball, there remains only one undefeated team, the Yankeehaters. The Chickenheads proved to be a two-week wonder and were dominated by the Boston Braves. The SarasotaRedRays ran into the buzz saw known as Roger’s Syringe and lost a closely contested game. The good news is that there is only one winless team. The even better news is that I’m playing the Bostonbad boys this week. 4-0, here I come.

Since my team is undefeated, and I am the only one to put 400+ points up in one week, I am obviously the best general manager. So in the hopes of leveling the playing field, I am going to impart my wisdom on how to improve the other teams in the league.

You are welcome.

• Bostonbad boys: I would upgrade your outfield. I’m not sold on Griffey Jr. for a whole season. Josh Hamilton is performing well but has yet to play a full season in the majors. I would think about dealing one of your star pitchers for a good outfielder.
• YankeeHaters: This team is close to perfect, with good starters, a solid closer, and an offense that scores in bunches. I would like to see my shortstop stay healthy. I’m pretty happy with this team, although I may be interested in a good outfielder, and I always enjoy a deal.
• Roger’s Syringe: I like the outfield and the reserves that you have on this team. I think that you need a better second baseman and another quality pitcher. Could there be a Scott Kazmir deal in the future?
• Boston Braves: This is going to be the team to beat this week. They have a ton of pitching and 12 starts this week. With Man-Ram and J.D. Drew playing great ball, and a really good infield, they will be a force week in and week out. If they can trade some extra pitching for a good third outfielder, look out.
• Chickenheads: This is another solid team. The only way to improve this team would be to trade both Yankees. I don’t care what you get for them. Team chemistry will definitely improve.
• Love Boat Captains: You know that you have a deep outfield when Jacoby Ellsbury is sitting on your bench. This team could be really good with a more consistent catcher and another #1 starter.
• My Best Efforts: This team has been hit with the injury bug to its pitching staff and suffered another loss this week. They have some pop to their lineup with Miguel Cabrera, Lance Berkman and Alex Rios, but they really need to put a catcher in the lineup that is in the majors. I’m sure that it will help.
• SarasotaRedRays: This guy has done a good job of finding players on the verge of breaking out. He’s added Johhny Cueto, Nate McLouth, and Mark Reynolds, and these “no-names” have performed really well. The big question is whether they can keep it going for a whole season. If not, they may be in trouble.
• The Showstoppers: Where to start… under-performing pitching staff, no real power in the lineup, and a disgruntled owner. I agree with you Matt, blow these guys up and start over. It’s still a long season. You have time to work your Theo magic.
• Lessthanzero: These guys got the shaft this week. They put up 399.5 points… and lost. With the exception of Chocolate Cake Sabathia, they have a rotation that couldn’t be picked out in a police lineup. If they plan to get out of the basement, they need to improve their pitching.

This is just my expert opinion. I’d love to hear what you guys think as we go into week 4.

Good teams find ways to win.

Sometimes it’s a pitcher throwing a complete game to give a tired bullpen the night off, or a great defensive play to keep your team in the lead. In the case of the Red Sox, it’s been back-to-back games with a game-winning home run in the 9th inning.

Thefoulline.com quick hits:

• It already sucks to be a Cleveland Indians fan. It must suck even more when the Red Sox come to town and you know that your team is going to find a way to lose. The Indians have a ton of talent and should be running away with the division, but with a 5-9 record they are one game out of the Central Division cellar. Maybe they need some Lake Erie Midges swarming around their heads to get them back in the groove.
• Did you see the lineup Terry Francona put out last night? Coco, Ellsbury, Lowrie, Lugo, and Cash. I thought they were mailing it in before another Yankees series. I guess even the Sox reserves can beat most teams.

• It was great to see yet another Red Sox prospect live up to the hype. Two years ago it was Jonathan Papelbon. Last year it was Jacoby Ellsbury, Jon Lester, and Manny Delcarmen. After last night’s 3 RBI performance in his first Major League game, it may be time to add Jed Lowrie to the list of legitimate prospects.

• Which reminds me, how are the over-hyped Yankees Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy working out for New York? Last time I checked, Hughes was was 0-2 with a 9.00 ERA, and Kennedy was 0-1 with an impressive 8.74 ERA. Do you think the Yankees are regretting not dealing these guys for Johan Santana?
• Mike Mussina and Carl Pavano will make a combined $22,071,029 this season.
• Tim Wakefield and Jonathan Papelbon will make a combined $4,775,000 this season.
• To further reinforce how crazy the Steinbrenners are, these idiots actually dug up the “cursed” Ortiz jersey buried in Yankee stadium. News Flash, Hank! The shirt is not the reason your team stinks. It’s the lousy pitching pitching staff, over-hyped prospects, and $28 million cancer playing third base.
• The Red Sox are in first place. Woo-hoo!

Since our friendly neighbor to the north was unintentionally snubbed this week in thefoulline.com’s fantasy baseball week in review, the staff at thefoulline.com would like not only to apologize but also to dedicate this post to a few of the things that are great about Canada.

• Hockey, the second greatest sport in the world.
• Alan Thicke, head of the Seaver family and arguably one of the top six TV dads of all time.
• Molson Ice. Beer is good. Really strong beer is very good.
• More drinkable water then anywhere else in the world.
• The way they can seamlessly incorporate “eh” into every sentence.
• Pamela Anderson’s breasts.
• Two teams in the CFL with the name Roughriders.
• The 55-year-old Canadian Tulip Festival.
• Loonies and Toonies.
• 1 Canadian dollar = 0.985319 U.S. dollars.
• Under-appreciated rock band The Guess Who.
• Survivorman Les Stroud.
• The talented Michael J. Fox, Jim Carrey, and Margaret Atwood.
• The less talented Bryan Adams, Celine Dion and Keanu Reeves.
• Birthplace of the zipper and Trivial Pursuit.

So you see, not only does Canada produce intelligent blog readers, but they have made many important contributions to the world.

Sorry about the slight, Canadian Pirate fan. We hope this fixes things.

Well foulliners, week 2 is in the books and it’s still anyone’s game. With the exception of the Love Boat Captains’ stomping Roger’s Syringe, there were some really good head-to-head games. It seemed like all the teams were matched up really well, and scoring went down to the wire. So without further adieu, here is thefoulline.com fantasy baseball league week in review. Teams are in no particular order.

• My Best Efforts: These guys jumped out to a big lead this week, only to falter on Sunday. They suffered a big blow when Dontrelle Willis went down with a knee injury and -2 points, but this is still a solid team with a 1-1 record.
• The Showstoppers: Breaking News!! Matt finally dealt for a catcher. Unfortunately for the commish, his team fell to a determined Chickenheads team this week. This team is in a little bit of a transition this week after dealing away Jeff Francoeur, Jered Weaver, and Scott Kazmir, but new additions Michael Young, Carlos Gomez and Ivan Rodriguez should provide a spark to the always-potent Showstoppers lineup.
• Love Boat Captains: OK, who invited the girl? Team LBC was a force to be reckoned with this week, with a dominant performance over Roger’s Syringe. This contest was pretty much over by Wednesday. The rich got richer this week, as LBC added the hot-hitting Justin Upton. What’s next for this team after hitting the 400-point mark is anyone’s guess.
• YankeeHaters: My team resembled a M.A.S.H unit this week, as it seemed every key player spent time on the bench nursing an injury. Victor Martinez, Jimmy Rollins, Chipper Jones, and Rich Harden all missed time. My itchy trigger finger was active again this week, as I dealt away Manny Ramirez, Kevin Youkilis, B.J. Upton, Michael Young, and Carloz Gomez. I’m counting on new additions Pat Burrell, Derek Lee, and Franciso Rodriguez to pick up the slack this week. But even with the big shakeup, Yankeehaters improved to 2-0.
• Roger’s Syringe: This team took their butt kicking and came out the other side better for it. RS made some solid moves today to improve his lineup and actually play with the full 16 guys. These guys are only gonna get better this year. Consider yourself warned.
• Chickenheads: Another impressive performance this week from the Chickenheads. This team is never content to stay pat and proved it once again by dealing away Cole Hamels and Mr. Fukudome. In what may be the best game going, Chickenheads play the Boston Braves this week.
• Bostonbad boys: The two old guys of the league had a fierce up-and-down battle going all week long as the Bad Boys fell to the Boston Braves. With a solid pitching staff already in place, if these guys improve their outfield they’ll be a tough team week in and week out. It should also be noted that my dad was finally able to log back in. What this means, I have no idea.
• Boston Braves: In what may be the deal of the century, BB fleeced the Yankeehaters by adding the potent Manny Ramirez to their lineup. The two-headed monster of Ryan Howard and Man-Ram looks great on paper, but we’ll see how this works out when Manny gets a hang nail and misses some time. With that being said, this team is a quality starting pitcher away from being in serious contention.
• SarasotaRedRays: These guys have been flying under the radar the first two weeks and have quietly gone 2-0. When Big Papi starts hitting again, this team could go on a tear. I’m thinking this sleeping giant may wake up soon and make some deals.

What are your thoughts on another exciting week?

Well boys and girl, we have the first week of the inaugural thefoulline.com fantasy baseball league in the books. The competition is fierce so far with several teams putting up some solid numbers. Since this is an off day for the Red Sox, here is a brief synopsis of what I saw from each of the fantasy teams this week. In no particular order:

• My Best Efforts: This is a pretty well-rounded team from top to bottom. They had the best individual performance from any pitcher so far with Jake Peavy and his whopping 63.5 points. If they add a catcher that is actually in the major leagues, they could be a force this year.
• Lessthanzero: An up-and-down week from our neighbor to the north. He had a big week from Derek Lee, Alex Gordon, and Corey “I wear my sunglasses at night” Hart. LTZ is going to need first-round fantasy pick Erik Bedard to rebound from his minor hip injury, and for Jose Reyes to play to his potential for this team to make a serious run.
• SarasotaRedRays: Featuring Prince Fielder, David Ortiz, and Kenji Johjima, team SRR has probably the most out of shape team in the league. He was able to get good fantasy numbers from Carlos Zambrano and Bobby Jenks. Even with J.J. Putz missing time this week and a bench in need of some work, SarasotaRedRays still performed well enough to earn 316.83 points and a third place finish.
• Bostonbad boys: This team may have the best pitching staff in the league featuring Johan Santana, Brandon Webb, and Dice K. Unfortunately, this team may stay unchanged all season because my dad forgot how to log in to the site. It’s tough getting old.
• Boston Braves: This team had a mediocre week from its big three, Ryan Howard, Russell Martin, and Aramis Ramirez. This team’s saving grace was a good week from its closers. I expect a big week for these guys next week after a blockbuster trade with the YankeeHaters (pending league approval).
• The Showstoppers: Theo Epstein’s prodigy Matt McLaughlin’s team is the league leader in points for the first week, with good numbers from every position. If he can upgrade his catcher, I don’t see anyone beating him any time soon.
• Rogers Syringe: This team is in trouble. Although it may look good on paper to have seven shortstops, pitching is also important. Dylan threw caution to the wind this week, fielding only 13 out of a possible 16 positions. He’s either the most confidant G.M., or the craziest. This team needs to be blown up and reassembled. Does anyone need a shortstop?
• Chickenheads: This team had the second most points this week and will be a serious contender if he keeps his team intact. With A-Rod and Pujols in the lineup, and an above-average pitching staff, this team won’t be laying any eggs anytime soon.
• Yankeehaters: I like the look of my team. After a blockbuster trade with the Chickenheads, the additions of Fausto Carmona and Josh Hamilton paid immediate dividends. My impatience with my players and the desire to make at least one mega-deal a week may be my downfall. I may regret dealing Manny Ramirez.
• Love Boat Captains: After a strong draft from our only woman in the league, Team LBC had an up-and-down week. Placido Polanco was a huge disappointment, going from 2007 All-Star to a two-point benchwarmer for week 2. It took a few games for stars Matt Holliday, Vernon Wells and Torii Hunter to regain their stroke from last year. A solid 35.5 points from Pirate Ian Snell (who??) made this a respectable week for LBC. This is a good team that will play better in weeks to come.

What do you think of the season so far?

Twice this week, I’ve had two of my fantasy pitchers face off against my favorite baseball team. Although I would never wish for a Sox loss, I couldn’t help but to think, If Roy Halladay or Rich Harden could hold Boston to one hit and the Red Sox could win the game 1-0, then it would be a win-win situation. I could get a bunch of fantasy points, and the Sox could get some wins. Is there anything wrong with that?

Thefoulline.com quick hits:

• After being on the road for 17 days and flying 16,000 miles, I really hope Terry Francona lets this team sleep in tomorrow.
• Didn’t Boston have one of the better defensive teams last year? The last two games, they looked more like the Bad News Bears, not the World Series Champions.
• I still think Toronto gets into the playoffs this year. They play solid baseball and have the best rotation in the AL East. If B.J. Ryan can come back from his injury and resemble his old self, they will be a force.
• A juice-free Andy Pettitte looked lousy the other night against the Rays, with 5 innings, 8 hits, and 5 runs. Maybe a call from Roger Clemens will boost his spirits.
• Julio Lugo: That image in your rearview mirror is Jed Lowrie. Objects may be closer then they appear.
• Am I the only one that is ready to see Jacoby Ellsbury lead off? This guy provided a big spark for Boston in the playoffs last year. Why mess with what’s been proven to work?

I’ll post the standings for the first week sometime tomorrow. It looks like a pretty tight race so far.

This fantasy baseball league is sucking the life out of me. I can’t focus at work. I’m ignoring my kids. I spend too much time making blockbuster trades in my mind. All with the hopes of winning the prestigious title of “Best GM on thefoulline.com.”

I’ve been scouring other teams’ lineups trying to figure out their secret formula for success. Is having seven shortstops a good thing? Can my team win without any Yankees on it? Should I have focused on pitchers? Did I over think, and put too much stock in some potential up-and-comers? Should I have just used the damned Auto Draft?

Please help me if you know the answers to any of these questions.

thefoulline.com quick hits

• Last night Dice K lived up to his hype. Let’s hope he can do this all year.
• Has anyone seen the greatest clutch hitter in baseball? He wears #34 and spits on his hands a lot. If found, please return him to the Red Sox ASAP.
• Attention, Eric Gagne: I guess it wasn’t the city of Boston that caused your woes last year. It’s that you suck.
• It took all of three games, but I am done with J.D. Drew and his candy-ass excuses for the rest of the year. The Sox should send him down to Pawtucket to “rehab” his back, and bring up someone with heart.
• I’m not sure how to pronounce Cub’s right fielder Kosuke Fukudome’s name, but he might have the greatest name in Major League history since Rusty Kuntz.
• Fantasy Baseball causes Attention Deficit Disorder.

I’m sorry to make this such a short post, but with thefoulline.com war room up and running for tonight’s draft, resources are running low. So here are a few quick hits.

• The Sox split their Japan series with the A’s. Considering that they traveled across the world for this goodwill tour and still walked away with a win, it’s not too shabby. Plus, there are now a million Japanese fans who are part of Red Sox Nation.
• Maybe it’s time for John Henry to create Red Sox World.
• Jon Lester consistently pitches well for the Sox, but he always seems to give up a 3-run home run. Hopefully this will change with experience.
• J.D. drew loves to toy with fans’ expectations of him. He teased us with 7 RBIs in the first two games, then pulled a typical Drew move and removed himself from the opener with “back stiffness.” It’s a long season, he’s going to need to play with a few aches and pains eventually. But why would this season be any different?
• I wouldn’t take J.D. Drew in the 20th round of the fantasy draft. Dylan can have him.
• What type of bizarro world are we in when Julio Lugo and Brandon Moss are looking great, and Big Papi and Jason Varitek look like it’s their first day of spring training?
• Did Manny’s early success at the plate leap frog him into a first-round draft pick?
• There is still an outside chance the Sox will go 161-1.
• Did you hear about Jose Canseco’s new book? He claims that A-Rod was constantly hitting on Canseco’s wife. I hope no one tells this to Derek Jeter. I wouldn’t want him to get jealous.
• Brandon Moss was optioned to Triple A Pawtucket today. Something tells me he’ll be back.
• I guarantee that I will not pick any Yankees under any circumstances in tonight’s draft.

Just to echo “The Commissioner” Matt McLaughlin, let’s all have fun this season. Good Luck.

With Opening Day of the 2008 Major League Baseball season a few short hours away, the staff at thefoulline.com has come up with the inaugural Thefoulline.com All-Pro Team of Awesomeness. This is a team of players, handpicked by Dylan and me, who represent what this site stands for. These players may not necessarily be the best at their respective positions, some may not even be good at baseball at all, but they have the attributes to make them worthy of this prestigious honor.

To be eligible for this team, players have to meet certain requirements:

• No Yankees allowed
• Must be able to play hurt, and not spend more time on the DL then on the active roster. (This means Rocco Baldelli is out.)
• Must keep their name on the sports page, not on the police blotter.
• Not on the Mitchell Report. Sorry, Roger.
• Most importantly, these are players that Dylan and I like. It was hard to not make it all Red Sox, but we did our best.
• No Yankees allowed

Here is the 2008 Thefoulline.com All-Pro Team of Awesomeness

Catcher: Jason Varitek
Varitek is not only the captain of the Boston Red Sox, but we are making him the captain here as well. Although he’s getting on in years, he still prepares his pitchers well and calls a great game.

First Base: Mark Texiera
Tex flies under the radar as far as elite first basemen go. He’s solid every year he plays.

Second Base: Dustin Pedroia
The baddest man in Boston provides the scrappy trash-talking factor for the team. If this guy was 6 feet tall, he would be a household name.

Shortstop: Orlando Cabrera
I still can’t get over the Sox not signing him in favor of Edgar Renteria. The O.C. was great for Boston during their 2004 run.

Third Base: Alex R…..NOT! David Wright
This guy has every chick in New York City wanting him, and he still goes out and hits .324 with 30 HRs. Plus I like the fact that Derek Jeter gets this guy’s leftovers. Best 3rd baseman in NYC.

Right Field: Vladimir Guerrero
Vlad swings for the fences with every swing of the bat and has a laser-rocket arm. What’s not to like? He once went yard in the on-deck circle.

Center Field: Grady Sizemore
Sizemore plays the game like a new and improved Jim Edmonds. Not to mention, Grady is a pretty cool first name.

Left Field: Carl Crawford
Poor Carl, playing in relative obscurity in Tampa, still manages to put up great numbers. And he has to play his spring training games next to road-rager Jon Weber.

Designated Hitter: David Ortiz
This one was obvious. He’s one of the most likable people in all of sports as well as the greatest postseason clutch hitter on the planet. Plus, I can’t really think of another DH worth a damn.

Starting Pitcher: Josh Beckett
He makes the team due to his remarkable playoff record and the fact that he never smiles during a game. This guy epitomizes intensity.

Starting Pitcher: Scott Kazmir
This future Red Sox led the league in strikeouts last year. Also Dylan has a man-crush on him, and vice-versa.

Starting Pitcher: Jake Peavy
He’s great at nothing but really good at everything.

Starting Pitcher: Felix Hernandez
His nickname is King, and he one-hit the Red Sox last year. That’s good enough for me.

Starting Pitcher: Tom Glavine
Token old-timer of the staff and 300-game winner. Also Dylan saw him play high school hockey in Billerica, Mass.

Closer: Jonathan Papelbon
Great stuff. Decent dancer. Crazy as hell.

Bench: Carlos Pena
The pride of Haverhill, Mass.

Bench: Troy Tulowitzki
Pretty good ballplayer, even if he does play for the Rockies.

Bench: Joe Mauer
Close personal friend of Matt McLaughlin, so he makes the team.

Bench: Kevin Millar
This guy will never make it out on the field for this team, but he’s a fun guy to keep around.

Manager: Sparky Anderson
My dad’s favorite manager when I was growing up.

League Commissioner: Bill Lee

Here’s our team. I think that they would fare pretty well in the league. Who makes your Team of Awesomeness?

I wasn’t too excited about the Red Sox cutting their spring training short to travel halfway around the world for a couple of exhibition games. The Sox will have a hard enough time defending their title without having to fight jet lag, and it’s obvious that MLB is trying to capitalize on Boston’s recent success now that they are the best baseball team on the planet. But after watching today’s game, and seeing how excited the Japanese fans were to watch the World Series champions, I think maybe MLB got it right when they chose the Sox to be international ambassadors for baseball.

Thefoulline.com’s Quick Hits, the International Version

• MLB.tv used the Japanese broadcasters for today’s game. I didn’t understand a word they said, but I still preferred it to Jerry Remy’s incoherent babble.
• Dice K has proven that he is Japan’s version of Elvis.
• J.D. Drew has 7 RBIs in two games. He is on pace for 567 RBIs this season.
• I always found it funny that the Red Sox assign their rookies uniform numbers more appropriate for an offensive lineman or wide receiver. I’m pretty sure that Jed Lowrie didn’t dream about wearing #82 for a major league team when he a kid. I wonder if this increases their motivation to make the team, so that they can get a good number.
• Jonathan Papelbon was given #58 as a rookie and he kept it, but we all know he has a few screws loose.
• In an attempt to fix his dismal batting average of the past two years, Coco Crisp is now wearing batting gloves. It has to help, right?
• The Sox lineup has the chance to be special this year. A batting order of Pedroia, Youkilis, Papi, Manny, Lowell, Drew, Varitek, Ellsbury, and Lugo could wear down an opposing pitching staff and put up a ton of runs. Plus, this lineup gives Francona the flexibility to move players around if they aren’t performing well.
• Thefoulline.com’s public enemy #1, Jon Weber of the Tampa Bay Rays, is batting .211 this spring training. Public enemy #2 Doug Mientkewicz of the Pirates is hitting .273 with one measly RBI in 16 games. This just proves that you don’t mess with foulliners. Karma will come back to haunt you.
• Speaking of foulliners. Thefoulline.com inaugural fantasy league baseball draft is only three days away. We still have three spots to fill. If we don’t have ten players, the league will be disbanded, and we will never see Dylan chose J.D. Drew with his first round pick. Find a friend and sign them up!! There will be a great prize package for the league champion (me). Email me with any sign-up questions.

Have a happy Easter!