Living in Southwest Florida, I’ve always felt that I should try and adopt the Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays as my second favorite baseball team. After all, their tickets are cheap, parking is free, and they have a group of young players that could turn them into a winner in the years to come. But after attending today’s Red Sox-Rays game, I didn’t gain a newfound respect for this team. I found the complete opposite – disdain.

Just when I thought that the Yankees had the biggest fair-weathered fans around, here come the Rays to challenge them for the title. The Rays have sold out their stadium 10 times… ever. In past years, they couldn’t have filled the place even if they offered up free all-you-can-drink beer and the chance to play shortstop for the team. Even at the start of this season, the Rays were playing to half a stadium. But now that they’ve won a few games in a row, everyone and his sister are fans. And man, are they obnoxious.

For some stupid reason, instead of cheering when their team makes a good play, Rays fans ring cowbells. Why do they do this? I have no idea, but it sucks, and it irritates the hell out of me. Another thing that pisses me off is the retarded Rays fans that were talking smack like they just won a playoff game. The Rays just swept a team that was decimated by an Ebola-strength flu epidemic. They can stick their brooms up their asses. Let’s check out their record when the All-Star game rolls around.

Am I bitter that the Sox were just swept? Maybe a little.

Do I think that the Rays will challenge the Sox in the AL East this year? No way.

Are the Rays now public enemy #2 to Red Sox Nation South? Definitely!

I wasn’t too excited about the Red Sox cutting their spring training short to travel halfway around the world for a couple of exhibition games. The Sox will have a hard enough time defending their title without having to fight jet lag, and it’s obvious that MLB is trying to capitalize on Boston’s recent success now that they are the best baseball team on the planet. But after watching today’s game, and seeing how excited the Japanese fans were to watch the World Series champions, I think maybe MLB got it right when they chose the Sox to be international ambassadors for baseball.

Thefoulline.com’s Quick Hits, the International Version

• MLB.tv used the Japanese broadcasters for today’s game. I didn’t understand a word they said, but I still preferred it to Jerry Remy’s incoherent babble.
• Dice K has proven that he is Japan’s version of Elvis.
• J.D. Drew has 7 RBIs in two games. He is on pace for 567 RBIs this season.
• I always found it funny that the Red Sox assign their rookies uniform numbers more appropriate for an offensive lineman or wide receiver. I’m pretty sure that Jed Lowrie didn’t dream about wearing #82 for a major league team when he a kid. I wonder if this increases their motivation to make the team, so that they can get a good number.
• Jonathan Papelbon was given #58 as a rookie and he kept it, but we all know he has a few screws loose.
• In an attempt to fix his dismal batting average of the past two years, Coco Crisp is now wearing batting gloves. It has to help, right?
• The Sox lineup has the chance to be special this year. A batting order of Pedroia, Youkilis, Papi, Manny, Lowell, Drew, Varitek, Ellsbury, and Lugo could wear down an opposing pitching staff and put up a ton of runs. Plus, this lineup gives Francona the flexibility to move players around if they aren’t performing well.
• Thefoulline.com’s public enemy #1, Jon Weber of the Tampa Bay Rays, is batting .211 this spring training. Public enemy #2 Doug Mientkewicz of the Pirates is hitting .273 with one measly RBI in 16 games. This just proves that you don’t mess with foulliners. Karma will come back to haunt you.
• Speaking of foulliners. Thefoulline.com inaugural fantasy league baseball draft is only three days away. We still have three spots to fill. If we don’t have ten players, the league will be disbanded, and we will never see Dylan chose J.D. Drew with his first round pick. Find a friend and sign them up!! There will be a great prize package for the league champion (me). Email me with any sign-up questions.

Have a happy Easter!

Attention all Major League ballplayers, playing hard against the Yankees will no longer be tolerated!

After some no-name Tampa Bay Ray ran over some no-name Yankee player a few days ago, the Bronx Bombers took exception to anyone daring to challenge them, and they vowed revenge. Yesterday, during Round 2 of the epic Yankees-Rays brouhaha, that revenge took the form of Shelley “My Parents Really Wanted a Girl” Duncan.

By now, I’m sure everyone has seen the replay. Duncan did her best Pearl Harbor impression into the unsuspecting second baseman Akinori Iwamura. What made this dirty play even worse was when Duncan stood up and acted like (s)he didn’t do anything wrong. This chick is your typical, cheap-shot, idiotic, self-entitled Yankee. I expect this stuff from A-Rod, not from some moron that has done absolutely nothing in this league.

Thefoulline.com Quick Hits

• The Red Sox released Doug Mirabelli today. How this one-trick pony has lasted in the league this long is beyond me. This guy hasn’t been able to hit his weight in average over the past several years. If the Sox are going to use a weak-hitting, defensive-minded backup catcher, make it one of the young kids. Jason Varitek needs to start grooming his heir.
• Clay Buchholz is dating a Penthouse model. This just proves my theory that woman are attracted to dumb, lanky, goofy-looking men. She is in no way interested in his potential future earnings.
• Bartolo Colon looked pretty good today. Two innings and 1 ER against the always-potent Tampa Bay Rays. Not a bad way to begin his epic comeback.
• To be filed in the Talk Is Cheap folder: Coco Crisp vowed at the beginning of spring training that he would not be happy with being a backup outfielder and would win the starting centerfielder spot. Since this bold statement, Crisp has played in two spring training games. Thanks for totally killing your trade value.
• In sad news today, the loyal thefoulline.com reader/contributor known as “the Canadian Yankee/Pirate fan” has suffered a serious injury. It appears that in an attempt to simultaneously cheer for his two favorite teams during the Yankees-Pirates game today, his head exploded. We all hope for a speedy recovery.

For some reason MLB.tv had legendary announcer Vin Scully call the Red Sox/Dodgers game yesterday. Wow! Listening to Vin Scully call the game made me want to move to Siberia and never listen to another game for as long as I live.

Scully is a huge name in the broadcasting world. He’s been calling Dodgers games for 57 years and has been inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. But enough is enough. This guy needs to hang up his microphone and enjoy his golden years.

During yesterday’s broadcast, some of the poignant topics that Scully talked about included: a detailed lesson about every palm tree in Dodgertown; which flavor bubble gum Matt Kemp was chewing; the reason that Mike Lowell doesn’t chew gum at the plate; and a history lesson about the field the Dodgers play on. He even managed to call a few balls and strikes. And this was just in the first inning.

This guy is the reason that television and radio broadcasts added a color commentator. If you ever have the opportunity to listen to Scully in action, don’t do it. Find a WNBA game and watch that instead. You’ll thank me.

Thefoulline.com’s tantalizing tidbits and predictions for the week.

• If Josh Beckett’s back injury is even remotely serious, the Red Sox are screwed.
• If Julio Lugo’s back injury prohibits him from playing ever again… oh well.
• The Grapefruit League’s worst record belongs to the Boston Red Sox. The best record belongs to the Tampa Bay Rays.
• The Sox treat Spring Training as a way to evaluate their young prospects. The Rays treat Spring Training as their World Series.
• I think Coco Crisp is going to have a good season for the Oakland A’s.
• If Bartolo Colon’s ERA matches his weight this year, he will go down as Theo Epstein’s best transaction… ever.
• The 2008 MLB All-Star game will be held at Yankee Stadium. Manny Delcarmen will be on the American League team. Derek Jeter will not.
• Thefoulline.com fantasy baseball draft starts in 17 days. Spots are still available, and competition is fierce for 2nd place.

George Steinbrenner’s mentally handicapped son and current Supervisor of Baseball Operations for the Yankees, Hank Steinbrenner, voiced his displeasure the other day to the New York Times “Play” magazine about the most popular fan base in all of sports. For those who missed it, Hank said: “Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans.” Hammerin’ Hank continued, “Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.”

Now, we’ve let Hank say his piece, and we hope that he feels pretty good about himself. But here at thefoulline.com we would like the opportunity to respond. First of all, Hank, you are a complete and utter jackass. I thought that your dad was a whackjob, but you have now earned the title of “Craziest Steinbrenner To Run a Baseball Team.”

The reason that ESPN televises more Sox games than Yankee games is that people want to see a winner play. Not a group of overpaid, aging, lying, steroid-enabling has-beens. America likes that Boston players keep their noses clean and stay out of the tabloids. This is a good thing for the game of baseball. Having twenty current and former players on the Mitchell Report, an adulterating third baseman and left fielder, and a tax evading shortstop on your roster, on the other hand, is not.

After Hank spouted his line of crap, younger brother Hal decided to add this little gem: “The defending World Series champions have a lot of talent, and [have] done very well the past few years, but let me put it this way: I don’t think [they] wanted to play us in the ALCS. So I will concede nothing. I think we’re better than [them].”

Well Hal, allow me to retort. Boston would have LOVED to play your team in the ALCS. Winning a World Series title is nice, embarrassing the Yankees in the process is even better. Your stellar lineup, with its seven-game playoff losing streak, scares no one. Add an inconsistent rotation, an unreliable bullpen, and the annual playoff choke-job known as Alex Rodriguez, and your team can count on another early exit next year.

The thing is, they may be right about the number of fans out there. But there is a huge difference between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans. Sox fans wear their hats and jackets all year long, regardless of their wins or losses. Yankee fans hide in their parents’ basements until their team starts to lead the division, and then they dust off their Yankee gear and reveal themselves as the obnoxious idiots that they are.

Hank and Hal, you are fortunate to live in the greatest nation in the world. Unfortunately for you, it goes by the name of RED SOX NATION. And I think it’s time you were deported.

Florida is the second best place to be a Red Sox fan, in the world, ever. Ideally, being able to go to Fenway Park day in and day out would be best, and I do long for the Fenway Park days of my life. Going to games on summer nights and taking the T into Kenmore Square is one of my favorite activities, hands down. But, if I can’t have the real deal, southwest Florida is a good second.

Yesterday I was able to watch the first pitches of Spring Training for the Red Sox in the beautiful City of Palms Park in Fort Myers. I had psyched up for this game, and baseball in general, for quite some time now, but yesterday had some icing on the cake. I awoke in the morning to what seemed like 25 missed calls from my Dad informing me that the World Series trophies would be on display at the park and available for photos. As you can tell by the photo section on the thefoulline.com, we took full advantage of the opportunity to take pics with the trophy of all trophies. I was so overjoyed, and showed it a little, that Dave and I ended up being tracked down by MLB.tv for an interview. (I like to think they recognized us from the thefoullline.com, but who knows?)

It was a beautiful day. Great weather, the trophies, baseball being back in action. It’s great. While we can’t embrace the warmth of Fenway on a summer night as much as we in Red Sox Nation South would like to, we DO have Spring Training to bask in, and 12 games at the Red Sox’s other home field, the Trop. So, welcome back, baseball. We’ve missed you.

I knew today was going to be a good day. The weather was a perfect 65 degrees, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and I had two tickets for the Red Sox/Boston College game in Fort Myers. I knew the game wasn’t going to be close, but Josh Beckett was penciled in to pitch the first two innings and I was hoping to see a couple of the Sox regulars get some playing time. The game started at 1:05 p.m. I planned on picking up Dylan at 10:00 for the hour-long drive down to the game. What transpired over the next three hours made this a day I won’t soon forget.

• I get a call from Dylan. He tells me that his Dad has called him seven times this morning to tell him that the World Series trophy will be on display at City of Palms Park. Thank you, Wayne Hamilton!
• Approximately five seconds after getting to Dylan’s, he suggests we hit Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast. Brilliant!
• Coffee in hand, we make world-record time down to Fort Myers.
• 11:00 Arrive at the park.
• 11:15 In line to get our pictures taken with the World Series trophies. That’s right, two trophies! They had the 2004 and 2007 trophies on display.
• 11:30-11:40 Dylan and I mug for the cameras.
• After the pictures, Dylan is showing me around the park when a camera crew stops us. Long story short, this is the camera crew from MLB’s This Week in Baseball. They told us that they had been taping us during our time with the trophies, and they wanted to interview us. We talk about what the World Series trophies mean to us, the Sox chances this year, blah blah blah. Like a couple of idiots, neither one of us thinks to mention thefoulline.com. Anyhow, we’ll keep an eye out for when we’re on TV and get the word out.
• Five minutes later, we are checking out the Boston Red Sox team store when team owner Tom Werner and Boston mayor Tom Menino pop in. These guys are walking around doing a little shopping like a couple of regular guys. Something tells me they don’t need to use their Red Sox Nation discount card.
• For those of you that have never been to City of Palms Park for a Red Sox game, you need to go. This was my first time, and the place is beautiful. It felt like I was at a Grateful Dead concert. Everyone was united, in a good mood and ready to cheer on the Sox. It truly is Red Sox Nation South. I can’t wait to go back.
• 12:30 p.m. Lineups are posted. I was psyched to see the lineup Terry Francona put out there today. He played every projected starter, with the exception of Manny and J.D. Drew.
• 1:00-1:30 Josh Beckett looked like he was in mid-season form for the two innings he pitched.
• 1:15.35 – 1:15.43 I am now convinced that Jacoby Ellsbury is the fastest person in the world. He went from first base to home on a bloop hit from Dustin Pedroia quicker then anyone I’ve ever seen.
• Kyle Snyder, Brandon Moss and Manny Delcarmen looked really good today.
• Dylan and I were sitting behind the owner of The Penalty Box Irish pub in Providence R.I. If you’re ever up there, check it out. Mention Kevin for a free round.
• For seven innings, B.C. was dominated. Even with the starters pulled and the no-name Sox playing, this game was a blowout.
• 24-0. Ouch!
• Even though it was a Spring Training game against an outmatched opponent, I thought Boston looked pretty good.
• I can’t wait to get my picture taken with the 2008 W.S. trophy next year.

It has been 118 days since the Boston Red Sox swept the Colorado Rockies in Game 4 of the 2007 World Series. Since then, we have been subjected to countless articles of Johan Santana speculation, the Roger Clemens Steroid Saga, and of course the Patriots cementing themselves into second place in the hearts of New England fans. But after a long winter, it’s time for the only season that truly matters.Baseball is back.

Enigmatic closer Jonathan Papelbon threw down the gauntlet last week when he declared the Red Sox as the team to beat this season. Although I appreciate his passion, I think the Sox are going to have their work cut out for them if they hope to defend their title.

I think this season for the Red Sox has the potential to go one of two ways. They could run away with the division, or they could have a really disappointing season. The way that the Sox are set up right now, it looks to me that they are one serious injury to any of their starting pitchers away from being in big trouble. The Sox do not have the depth that they’ve had in the past to sustain any long term injury. Also, what if Manny turns in another poor offensive performance this year? Can Mike Lowell carry the team for another year? Is Jacoby Ellsbury really the next Ted Williams? Can Boston rely on Lester and Buchholz as everyday contributors? Will Pedroia have a sophomore slump? Can Okajima still trick hitters with the oki-doke?I am not trying to be a glass-is-half-empty kind of guy, but there should be some concerns on this team. Last year, the Yankees started slow and the Sox were able to build a big division lead, They always got the big hit when they needed it, and fortunately avoided any key injuries.

So were the Red Sox that good last year, or were they just luckier then the rest? With everyone else in the league gunning to knock off the champs, they are going to need to be both if they hope to repeat.

Let me start off by saying that I love the Boston Red Sox. I was raised by a dad who taught me to always support the Sox no matter what. And even though I don’t live in New England anymore, I’ve always followed the Sox and have tried to raise my two kids the same way.

I was too young to remember Bucky “effing” Dent’s homerun in 1978. I was in junior high when Bill Buckner broke my heart, and I still feel the stomach punch when Aaron Boone took Tim Wakefield deep in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS. I have followed the Red Sox during their absolute worst. And after winning two of the last four World Series, I have seen them at their best. But the newest generation of Sox fans, my kids included, know nothing but happy times. Their Sox history is all about bloody socks, Big Papi homeruns, and champagne showers.

So I hope you can appreciate my concern when I say Boston may be in trouble this season. While Boston opted to keep last season’s roster intact, other teams in the American League have been loading up. The Red Sox will have their hands full with teams salivating at the thought of knocking the champs off the mountaintop.

Good teams in the league have got better. Detroit added two All Stars in Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim improved their defense with the addition of Torii Hunter, and the always tough Seattle Mariners improved their rotation with staff ace Eric Bedard. Add the Indians, the Blue Jays, and the damn Yankees to the mix, and this could be an uphill climb for Boston.

If the Sox stumble out of the gate this year, or if a key player gets injured, I hope Theo Epstein doesn’t hesitate to unload their young talent to acquire some All Stars to help keep this team on top.

But I don’t want him to do it for me, or my dad, or anyone else that believed in the Curse. I want him to do it for the kids. After all, they don’t know any other way.

I love Spring Training. The smell of freshly cut grass. The warm sun after another cold, gray winter. The beginning of an eight-month voyage with hopes of a World Series title. The stories of Roger Clemens’s butt abscesses.

I watched every minute of the congressional hearing yesterday from thefoulline.com headquarters and came up with a few opinions. First of all, Clemens is a liar. I’m not sure that there will ever be enough evidence to convict him for taking performance-enhancing drugs, but I have little doubt that he took them. I’m not going to get into the “he said, he said” stuff, but let’s take a look at a few highlights and observations.

• Clemens’s legacy is obviously more important to him than his family. He tried to get his wife to take the fall for him. Be a real man and stand up for yourself.
• Congressman Elijah Cummings (D – MD) is my new favorite politician. During the hearings, Cummings owned Clemens. This guy was relentless on him. Unfortunately, with only ten minutes assigned to each congressman, Cummings ran out of time before he could get Clemens’s head to explode. I swear Clemens was three minutes away from pulling a Colonel Jessup and shouting, “You’re goddamn right I ordered the Code Red!” Fortunately for Clemens, the Congressman ran out of time, but it was close.
• Roger Clemens is definitely on Barry Bonds*’s Christmas card list. Clemens is now the MLB poster boy for steroids. This is exactly what Bonds* needed to take the heat off.

Clemens is a lying, cheating scumbag. He may never be prosecuted, and we may never hear the truth from him, but his legacy will be tainted forever. There are no winners here.

Baseball is the greatest sport in the world. Kids playing Little League baseball need to learn from these players’ indiscretions and do their best to emulate the ballplayers that play the game the right way. Unfortunately, an All-Star team could be fielded with the names of players that have put their personal goals and egos ahead of the game. Guys like Bonds, Rose, Sosa, Giambi and now Clemens have done their best to disgrace the game. Society has already given these guys too much attention. It’s time to put these players on the back burner where they belong, and focus on all the great things the game of baseball has to offer.