Archive for the ‘Johnny Damon’ Category

I just saved a bunch of money on my baseball team by switching to Coco…

Johnny Damon looks like the Geico CavemanJohnny Damon is the Geico caveman without the brains. I choked on my coffee this morning when I saw this quote from Damon in the New York Post. “It’s taken a number of players to replace me,” Damon said of the Red Sox. “I’m Johnny [Bleeping] Damon.”

They didn’t replace Damon. They upgraded. The last time I checked, the Red Sox didn’t have an adulterous, weak-armed, caveman lookalike deadbeat dad playing center field. They have Coco Crisp, the best defensive outfielder in the American league, at 1/3 the cost of the 13 million dollar “man.” Theo Epstein did the right thing. He knew not to waste the money on an aging, injury-prone idiot. If Johnny hadn’t played for Boston, Brian Cashman wouldn’t have even looked at him, but the prospect of playing the Red Sox 19 times a year with the opportunity for Damon to inflict damage on his former team was part of the appeal.

Once again, Damon hasn’t lived up to his own hype, and the Yankees are kicking themselves for being on the hook for another season. One home run against your former team doesn’t amount to a 40 million dollar contract. Even a [bleeping] caveman could figure that out.