Archive for the ‘Roger Clemens’ Category

Nothing As It Seems

After watching the Red Sox this past week, I was under the impression that their offense was still stuck in Fort Myers. The dynamic duo of Ellsbury and Pedroia have looked lousy. Big Papi is a shell of his former self and has resorted to diving head first into first base in an attempt to get on, and Manny Ramirez has more stolen bases than extra base hits. I’m tired of the 2-1, or 3-0 games. I want the Sox offense to look more like a beer league softball team.

I can understand the Red Sox struggling against Roy Halladay or James Shields, these guys are good pitchers. What bothers me is when Boston’s potent offense is held in check by the likes of Edwin Jackson and Jon Garland.

But all my worrying was for naught. After doing a little research I found that Boston’s offense is right where it should be. Check out these numbers:

Batting Average: 1st in AL
Hits: 1st in AL
Runs: Tied for 2nd
RBIs: Tied for 2nd

The Red Sox also have Man-Ram leading the league in batting average and slugging % and in 2nd in homeruns and hits.

If Boston can only stay healthy for the rest of the year, they have the potential to put up some great numbers. quick hits:

  • After the latest Roger Clemens scandal, it may be time for him to pick up Mike Tyson and O.J. Simpson and move to Siberia. America is officially sick of your crap. I can’t see how this guy could sink any lower.
  • staff would like to wish Alex Rodriguex and Jorge Posada a speedy recovery from their recent ailments. Fourth place in the division just isn’t the same without them.
  • Surprising no one, J.D. Drew is sitting out after nicking himself shaving. Or something.
  • Boston faces Blue Jays pitcher Dustin McGowan tonight. McGowan has pitched really well against Boston in the past and has the best sideburns in the league.
  • Dustin Pedroia’s diving stop in the 9th inning of last night’s game reminded me of when he saved Clay Buchholz’s no-hitter last year. D-Ped does not get the recognition he deserves for his defense. He’ll make the All-Star team this year.
  • Has anyone else noticed that Jonathan Papelbon always gives a fist-bump to a Boston police officer when he enters the game? Anyhow, check out this article. It’s pretty cool.

Spring is in the air

I love Spring Training. The smell of freshly cut grass. The warm sun after another cold, gray winter. The beginning of an eight-month voyage with hopes of a World Series title. The stories of Roger Clemens’s butt abscesses.

I watched every minute of the congressional hearing yesterday from headquarters and came up with a few opinions. First of all, Clemens is a liar. I’m not sure that there will ever be enough evidence to convict him for taking performance-enhancing drugs, but I have little doubt that he took them. I’m not going to get into the “he said, he said” stuff, but let’s take a look at a few highlights and observations.

  • Clemens’s legacy is obviously more important to him than his family. He tried to get his wife to take the fall for him. Be a real man and stand up for yourself.
  • Congressman Elijah Cummings (D – MD) is my new favorite politician. During the hearings, Cummings owned Clemens. This guy was relentless on him. Unfortunately, with only ten minutes assigned to each congressman, Cummings ran out of time before he could get Clemens’s head to explode. I swear Clemens was three minutes away from pulling a Colonel Jessup and shouting, “You’re goddamn right I ordered the Code Red!” Fortunately for Clemens, the Congressman ran out of time, but it was close.
  • Roger Clemens is definitely on Barry Bonds*’s Christmas card list. Clemens is now the MLB poster boy for steroids. This is exactly what Bonds* needed to take the heat off.

Clemens is a lying, cheating scumbag. He may never be prosecuted, and we may never hear the truth from him, but his legacy will be tainted forever. There are no winners here.

Baseball is the greatest sport in the world. Kids playing Little League baseball need to learn from these players’ indiscretions and do their best to emulate the ballplayers that play the game the right way. Unfortunately, an All-Star team could be fielded with the names of players that have put their personal goals and egos ahead of the game. Guys like Bonds, Rose, Sosa, Giambi and now Clemens have done their best to disgrace the game. Society has already given these guys too much attention. It’s time to put these players on the back burner where they belong, and focus on all the great things the game of baseball has to offer.

Roid Rage

I have made it known several times since I started this blog that I don’t like Roger Clemens. I have written posts that described him a money grubber, as well as being a disloyal traitor. In other words, Clemens has a history of whoring himself out to the highest bidder without regard to team loyalty.

After watching Clemens “vehemently” deny his steroid use on the 60 Minutes interview by his good friend Mike Wallace I was convinced that Rocket Roger is a bad liar and is only concerned about his legacy. To further reinforce how he didn’t do steroids, Clemens called a news conference on Monday and proceeded to bash the media for their hard hitting questions. I guess Roger was hoping for another free pass, but unfortunately for him the reporters chose to do their job and leave the puff pieces to 6o Minutes. Clemens in a failed attempt to look like the surly, wrongly accused ball player, even went as far asking the media that was on hand for permission to drink his bottled water in a very condescending way. Unfortunately for him, he came off looking like a jerk. Did Clemens forget that it’s the baseball writers that vote for selection into the Baseball Hall of Fame?

After watching Roger Clemens performance the past two days, I am convinced of two things. First of all, he definitely took steroids while playing. There is no way a guy his age is throwing , 95 MPH and gets stronger as the season goes on. I don’t care how many wind sprints he did during the offseason. Secondly, his personal trainer has absolutely nothing to gain by lying about this. All this guy has received is one less source of income and the complete loss of his privacy. This doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.

Clemens can deny his steroid use until he grows a third ear out of his forehead. But, watching Clemens lash out at the media yesterday, and threatening bodily harm to his ex-trainer during the press conference made me start thinking, maybe Roger Clemens is still taking them.

Cheater Man

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time,
‘Til touch down brings me ’round again to find,
I’m not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.

Elton John must have known something the rest of the baseball world didn’t when he wrote “Rocket Man.”

Two days ago, Roger Clemens was the greatest right-handed pitcher in Major League history. He is a seven-time Cy Young Award winner, has the record for striking out the most players in a game twice, and has won 354 games. Now he will forever be mentioned in the same breath as Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire as a cheater and a disgrace to the game. The Mitchell Report has been made official and has listed some of the biggest names in the sport as steroid users. An All-Star team could be fielded with the names on the report: Guys like Andy Petitte, Miguel Tejada, and Gary Sheffield were all named, but the most newsworthy name was obviously Clemens.

I guess I should have thought something was up when a 40-year-old man was still throwing 95 MPH and dominating the league, but Clemens was well known for his extensive and excruciating off-season workouts. Of course, being the money-grubbing liar that he is, Clemens denies the accusations, even though the guy that trained both Clemens and Petitte came forward and admitted injecting both players in the butt with steroids.

When the talk of players using steroids came up, it was generally thought that it was the power hitters using them, not the pitchers. Now it’s been reported that there are just as many pitchers as position players on the report.

If Barry Bonds is getting asterisks on his records, I think Clemens should also.

These guys have degraded America’s pastime. I think the only way that they ever see the inside of the Baseball Hall of Fame is if they buy a $10 ticket.

The icing on the cake

Here’s a Roger Clemens post from Dylan. I know that you’ll all enjoy it.

I love icing on cakes, it’s so delicious, it takes something that is already so tasty and enjoyable, and just ups the ante. As I sat, watching the Yankees get swept out of the Playoffs after putting everything they had into the last few months of the season, I was happy. But, then someone spread on the icing. It was announced during the game, that if the Yankees had won, Roger Clemens would be sat for the rest of the playoffs and the always mean Ron Villone would take his spot.

Ron Villone? Are you serious? Who is Ron Villone? Well, he has just a little bit more experience in the bigs then Moonlight Graham did in Field of Dreams. He’s made a whopping two postseason appearances. I did the research on the guy, and I was actually somewhat impressed, for someone I haven’t heard too much from, his stats are, well decent. But this Rocket Roger Clemens, the “greatest” pitcher of all time, reduced to a run-of-the mill pitcher, replaced by a more run-of-the mill guy in Ron Burgundy or whatever his name was. Point I’m making is this, we have FINALLY seen the last of Clemens. The all time active leader in wins, strikeouts, crappy cell phone adds, and being a dirty money grabbing whore, is done for.

I picture Clemens as that older duck on Ducktales that swims in the giant pool of gold coins. I’ve been sick of this guy ever since he first signed with New York, but the past few seasons have been ridiculous. Not wanting to travel with the team, a bazillion dollars for the half season he was willing to pitch, and he still can’t buy a cell phone that doesn’t get dropped calls, the commercial sucked anyways. Clemens, you’re a sellout and a money grubbing non-team player. Here at thefoulline, we’d like to say farewell to old money bags. Watching Roger, the hope of the team after the all star break, be replaced in third inning of game three was great, but seeing Ron Villone replace him for the playoffs, well, Roger that’s one thing you can’t put a price tag on.

An open letter to Yankee fans

Dear Yankee fans,

I wanted to write a quick note to you all during your time of need. I know how hard it must be to get destroyed by a team you usually have success against. A 12-3 loss in a playoff game must be devastating. I don’t know if you will ever be able recover from this.

To make matters worse, this is the fifth playoff game your beloved Yankees have lost in row. It is so sad to see this once proud franchise struggling. Here is what concerns me: I fear that this might be just the beginning of the Yankee demise. After backing into the playoffs, your team is on the verge of losing such notable players as Alex Rodriguez, Mariano Rivera, and Jorge Posada to free-agency. I don’t see how losing these players could possibly help your situation.

I do have one great idea. I would make every attempt to re-sign Roger Clemens. This guy has been a rock for your ballclub this year, worth every penny of his $28 million salary. Even with his 6-6 record and 4.18 ERA, re-signing this guy needs to be a priority. It doesn’t matter that he’s 58 years old. Age shouldn’t matter. What matters is that this guy is still willing to pimp himself out to the highest bidder, even if his best days are long over.

I know Yankee fans support their team through the good times and the bad, and would never jump off the bandwagon in the their time of need. And with the Mets sucking almost as bad as the Yankees, where could a New Yorker possibly turn to in this desperate hour?

Here at, I want you to know that we are here for you during your time of need. Since a World Series title seems like such an impossibility any time in the future, I thought maybe you could take a walk down memory lane, and talk about the Yankees’ 26 rings. Even though none have come in this decade, I can appreciate how reliable this argument is for you as a crutch.

I hope that you find comfort in this letter, and know that in the past your franchise was once great. But the time has come to take a long look into the mirror and say those nine words that will ease your sorrows: “I should have been born a Red Sox fan.”

Take care, and enjoy your rapidly approaching offseason.


Reality Bites

Well, it’s back to reality for New York after losing 2 out of 3 games in Yankee Stadium to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. It’s sad times for Yankee fans when your season highlight is a 3-game sweep of the Boston Red Sox, dropping their lead to “only” 5 games.

Yankee fans can whine about having to “come down” after such an emotional series against Boston, but the facts remain. The Yankees caught the Red Sox at their most vulnerable. Boston was on the last leg of a 10-game road trip. Manny allegedly injured his oblique muscle, and J.D. Drew was sucking like his normal self. Anybody could have beat Boston those three days.

And how did both teams respond to such an “emotional” series? Philip Hughes, “Yankee Ace” of the future: 4 innings pitched with 4 earned runs in a loss against Tampa. Andy Pettite: 6 innings pitched for 11 hits and 5 earned runs (another loss). And the million-dollar man Roger Clemens put together another solid start today for a loss against Seattle (4 innings pitched, 8 hits, 5 earned runs). At the cost of only a million dollars, Clemens not only increased the Red Sox lead in the AL East but also helped Seattle inch closer to overtaking the wild card lead.

Meanwhile in Boston, the Sox have been playing kids against men and taking 2 out of 3 from Baltimore. I don’t know if anyone has heard about Clay Buchholz, the Red Sox rookie who threw a no hitter in only his second major league start, or Jon Lester, who has overcome cancer and is now 3-0 on the season, but the Sox are once again showing their superior pitching, farm system and front office. The reality is that this is just the first of many years to come of the Red Sox dominating the Yankees.

The Yankees can have their emotional series win. The Red Sox are going to have the title.

It’s not time to push the panic button…yet

First of all, let’s focus on the positives. The Red Sox played their two worst games of the year, and they are still 6 games ahead of the Yankees in the AL East. The Yankees beat a depleted Sox lineup – no big deal. It’s August 30th and we are in the driver’s seat.

What did bother me about last night’s game was watching Roger Clemens bean Dustin Pedroia in the first inning without any retribution from Josh Beckett. If Schilling was pitching last night, Derek Jeter would be peeing blood this morning after getting drilled in the kidney by a 90 mph fastball.

Another thing, ESPN was making a huge deal about Clemens having a no-hitter into the 6th inning. He walked 5 batters! That should equate to five singles. Clemens’ performance was the ugliest 2-hitter I have ever seen. I guess it’s hard to have command of the strike zone when you have your million-dollars-per-start check in your back pocket.

Look for Schilling to shine today at Yankee Stadium. Saving the Red Sox from a sweep will sound good in his blog tomorrow… and in mine.