Nothing As It Seems

After watching the Red Sox this past week, I was under the impression that their offense was still stuck in Fort Myers. The dynamic duo of Ellsbury and Pedroia have looked lousy. Big Papi is a shell of his former self and has resorted to diving head first into first base in an attempt to get on, and Manny Ramirez has more stolen bases than extra base hits. I’m tired of the 2-1, or 3-0 games. I want the Sox offense to look more like a beer league softball team.

I can understand the Red Sox struggling against Roy Halladay or James Shields, these guys are good pitchers. What bothers me is when Boston’s potent offense is held in check by the likes of Edwin Jackson and Jon Garland.

But all my worrying was for naught. After doing a little research I found that Boston’s offense is right where it should be. Check out these numbers:

Batting Average: 1st in AL
Hits: 1st in AL
Runs: Tied for 2nd
RBIs: Tied for 2nd

The Red Sox also have Man-Ram leading the league in batting average and slugging % and in 2nd in homeruns and hits.

If Boston can only stay healthy for the rest of the year, they have the potential to put up some great numbers. quick hits:

  • After the latest Roger Clemens scandal, it may be time for him to pick up Mike Tyson and O.J. Simpson and move to Siberia. America is officially sick of your crap. I can’t see how this guy could sink any lower.
  • staff would like to wish Alex Rodriguex and Jorge Posada a speedy recovery from their recent ailments. Fourth place in the division just isn’t the same without them.
  • Surprising no one, J.D. Drew is sitting out after nicking himself shaving. Or something.
  • Boston faces Blue Jays pitcher Dustin McGowan tonight. McGowan has pitched really well against Boston in the past and has the best sideburns in the league.
  • Dustin Pedroia’s diving stop in the 9th inning of last night’s game reminded me of when he saved Clay Buchholz’s no-hitter last year. D-Ped does not get the recognition he deserves for his defense. He’ll make the All-Star team this year.
  • Has anyone else noticed that Jonathan Papelbon always gives a fist-bump to a Boston police officer when he enters the game? Anyhow, check out this article. It’s pretty cool.

Bittersweet Symphony

Twice this week, I’ve had two of my fantasy pitchers face off against my favorite baseball team. Although I would never wish for a Sox loss, I couldn’t help but to think, If Roy Halladay or Rich Harden could hold Boston to one hit and the Red Sox could win the game 1-0, then it would be a win-win situation. I could get a bunch of fantasy points, and the Sox could get some wins. Is there anything wrong with that? quick hits:

  • After being on the road for 17 days and flying 16,000 miles, I really hope Terry Francona lets this team sleep in tomorrow.
  • Didn’t Boston have one of the better defensive teams last year? The last two games, they looked more like the Bad News Bears, not the World Series Champions.
  • I still think Toronto gets into the playoffs this year. They play solid baseball and have the best rotation in the AL East. If B.J. Ryan can come back from his injury and resemble his old self, they will be a force.
  • A juice-free Andy Pettitte looked lousy the other night against the Rays, with 5 innings, 8 hits, and 5 runs. Maybe a call from Roger Clemens will boost his spirits.
  • Julio Lugo: That image in your rearview mirror is Jed Lowrie. Objects may be closer then they appear.
  • Am I the only one that is ready to see Jacoby Ellsbury lead off? This guy provided a big spark for Boston in the playoffs last year. Why mess with what’s been proven to work?

I’ll post the standings for the first week sometime tomorrow. It looks like a pretty tight race so far.

Spring is in the air

I love Spring Training. The smell of freshly cut grass. The warm sun after another cold, gray winter. The beginning of an eight-month voyage with hopes of a World Series title. The stories of Roger Clemens’s butt abscesses.

I watched every minute of the congressional hearing yesterday from headquarters and came up with a few opinions. First of all, Clemens is a liar. I’m not sure that there will ever be enough evidence to convict him for taking performance-enhancing drugs, but I have little doubt that he took them. I’m not going to get into the “he said, he said” stuff, but let’s take a look at a few highlights and observations.

  • Clemens’s legacy is obviously more important to him than his family. He tried to get his wife to take the fall for him. Be a real man and stand up for yourself.
  • Congressman Elijah Cummings (D – MD) is my new favorite politician. During the hearings, Cummings owned Clemens. This guy was relentless on him. Unfortunately, with only ten minutes assigned to each congressman, Cummings ran out of time before he could get Clemens’s head to explode. I swear Clemens was three minutes away from pulling a Colonel Jessup and shouting, “You’re goddamn right I ordered the Code Red!” Fortunately for Clemens, the Congressman ran out of time, but it was close.
  • Roger Clemens is definitely on Barry Bonds*’s Christmas card list. Clemens is now the MLB poster boy for steroids. This is exactly what Bonds* needed to take the heat off.

Clemens is a lying, cheating scumbag. He may never be prosecuted, and we may never hear the truth from him, but his legacy will be tainted forever. There are no winners here.

Baseball is the greatest sport in the world. Kids playing Little League baseball need to learn from these players’ indiscretions and do their best to emulate the ballplayers that play the game the right way. Unfortunately, an All-Star team could be fielded with the names of players that have put their personal goals and egos ahead of the game. Guys like Bonds, Rose, Sosa, Giambi and now Clemens have done their best to disgrace the game. Society has already given these guys too much attention. It’s time to put these players on the back burner where they belong, and focus on all the great things the game of baseball has to offer.

Roid Rage

I have made it known several times since I started this blog that I don’t like Roger Clemens. I have written posts that described him a money grubber, as well as being a disloyal traitor. In other words, Clemens has a history of whoring himself out to the highest bidder without regard to team loyalty.

After watching Clemens “vehemently” deny his steroid use on the 60 Minutes interview by his good friend Mike Wallace I was convinced that Rocket Roger is a bad liar and is only concerned about his legacy. To further reinforce how he didn’t do steroids, Clemens called a news conference on Monday and proceeded to bash the media for their hard hitting questions. I guess Roger was hoping for another free pass, but unfortunately for him the reporters chose to do their job and leave the puff pieces to 6o Minutes. Clemens in a failed attempt to look like the surly, wrongly accused ball player, even went as far asking the media that was on hand for permission to drink his bottled water in a very condescending way. Unfortunately for him, he came off looking like a jerk. Did Clemens forget that it’s the baseball writers that vote for selection into the Baseball Hall of Fame?

After watching Roger Clemens performance the past two days, I am convinced of two things. First of all, he definitely took steroids while playing. There is no way a guy his age is throwing , 95 MPH and gets stronger as the season goes on. I don’t care how many wind sprints he did during the offseason. Secondly, his personal trainer has absolutely nothing to gain by lying about this. All this guy has received is one less source of income and the complete loss of his privacy. This doesn’t sound like a great deal to me.

Clemens can deny his steroid use until he grows a third ear out of his forehead. But, watching Clemens lash out at the media yesterday, and threatening bodily harm to his ex-trainer during the press conference made me start thinking, maybe Roger Clemens is still taking them.

Cheater Man

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time,
‘Til touch down brings me ’round again to find,
I’m not the man they think I am at home,
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man.

Elton John must have known something the rest of the baseball world didn’t when he wrote “Rocket Man.”

Two days ago, Roger Clemens was the greatest right-handed pitcher in Major League history. He is a seven-time Cy Young Award winner, has the record for striking out the most players in a game twice, and has won 354 games. Now he will forever be mentioned in the same breath as Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire as a cheater and a disgrace to the game. The Mitchell Report has been made official and has listed some of the biggest names in the sport as steroid users. An All-Star team could be fielded with the names on the report: Guys like Andy Petitte, Miguel Tejada, and Gary Sheffield were all named, but the most newsworthy name was obviously Clemens.

I guess I should have thought something was up when a 40-year-old man was still throwing 95 MPH and dominating the league, but Clemens was well known for his extensive and excruciating off-season workouts. Of course, being the money-grubbing liar that he is, Clemens denies the accusations, even though the guy that trained both Clemens and Petitte came forward and admitted injecting both players in the butt with steroids.

When the talk of players using steroids came up, it was generally thought that it was the power hitters using them, not the pitchers. Now it’s been reported that there are just as many pitchers as position players on the report.

If Barry Bonds is getting asterisks on his records, I think Clemens should also.

These guys have degraded America’s pastime. I think the only way that they ever see the inside of the Baseball Hall of Fame is if they buy a $10 ticket.

The icing on the cake

Here’s a Roger Clemens post from Dylan. I know that you’ll all enjoy it.

I love icing on cakes, it’s so delicious, it takes something that is already so tasty and enjoyable, and just ups the ante. As I sat, watching the Yankees get swept out of the Playoffs after putting everything they had into the last few months of the season, I was happy. But, then someone spread on the icing. It was announced during the game, that if the Yankees had won, Roger Clemens would be sat for the rest of the playoffs and the always mean Ron Villone would take his spot.

Ron Villone? Are you serious? Who is Ron Villone? Well, he has just a little bit more experience in the bigs then Moonlight Graham did in Field of Dreams. He’s made a whopping two postseason appearances. I did the research on the guy, and I was actually somewhat impressed, for someone I haven’t heard too much from, his stats are, well decent. But this Rocket Roger Clemens, the “greatest” pitcher of all time, reduced to a run-of-the mill pitcher, replaced by a more run-of-the mill guy in Ron Burgundy or whatever his name was. Point I’m making is this, we have FINALLY seen the last of Clemens. The all time active leader in wins, strikeouts, crappy cell phone adds, and being a dirty money grabbing whore, is done for.

I picture Clemens as that older duck on Ducktales that swims in the giant pool of gold coins. I’ve been sick of this guy ever since he first signed with New York, but the past few seasons have been ridiculous. Not wanting to travel with the team, a bazillion dollars for the half season he was willing to pitch, and he still can’t buy a cell phone that doesn’t get dropped calls, the commercial sucked anyways. Clemens, you’re a sellout and a money grubbing non-team player. Here at thefoulline, we’d like to say farewell to old money bags. Watching Roger, the hope of the team after the all star break, be replaced in third inning of game three was great, but seeing Ron Villone replace him for the playoffs, well, Roger that’s one thing you can’t put a price tag on.