World Series preview

I’ve already stated the obvious: the Red Sox are going to win the World Series. In fact, they are going to sweep. It’s easy to say they are going to win. Here are facts to back it up.

Starting pitching: Red Sox: Josh Beckett, Curt Schilling, Dice K, and Jon Lester; vs. Rockies: Jeff Francis, some other guy, Mr. No-Name, and Who Cares. Advantage: Boston. The Sox have two of the greatest postseason pitchers in MLB history in Beckett and Schilling. Mix in Dice K and the wildcard Lester and you have a formidable staff. The Rockies have one decent pitcher and three guys that should be working mall security.

Team Defense: Red Sox: Kevin Youkilis, Mike Lowell, Dustin Pedroia, and Jacoby Ellsbury; vs. Rockies: Troy Tulowitzki, Kaz Matsui, Todd Helton, and Matt Holiday. Advantage: Colorado. The Rockies led the league in fewest errors. The Sox play consistent defense. Youkilis hasn’t committed an error at first base all season. Lowell and Pedroia are always solid, but I give a very slight edge to Colorado.

Team Offense: Red Sox: Big Papi, Manny, Lowell, Youk, Pedroia, and Drew; vs. Colorado: Holliday, Helton, and Atkins. Huge Advantage: Boston. The reality is that anyone in the Sox lineup can come up big and hurt you on any given night. One night it’s Papi, the next it’s Pedroia. Colorado cannot possibly prepare for everyone in the Sox lineup.

Mascots: Wally vs. Dinger. Wally the Green Monster is a stroke of genius for Red Sox marketing. To incorporate Fenway Park’s most famous feature into a mascot works brilliantly. Dinger the purple and yellow dinosaur is a leftover from the Barney show. What does a dinosaur have to do with Colorado? I have a better idea for a mascot. How about Coorsy the Friendly Bandwagon Jumper? Advantage: Wally in a landslide.

Fans: Boston has the most die-hard, loyal, passionate fans in all of sports. Fenway Park has sold out hundreds of games in a row. Colorado is well known for charging five bucks for tickets to get fans in the stands, and even then they can’t sell out Coors Field. In a recent poll in Colorado, 63% of the residents were unaware that there was a baseball team in Denver. Advantage: Boston.

So you see, it all adds up. Colorado is overrated, ill-prepared, and undermanned to possibly handle the Red Sox in the World Series.

Fortunately for them, it will be quick and painless.

21 Responses to “ World Series preview”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    world series? whos playing? is it a brooklyn dogers AND new york yankee series??? I like sandy koufax a lot….

  2. Anonymous Says:

    who was that recent poll takin by?

  3. Dave Says:

    The poll was taken by the Foundation Of Unusually Likeable Lovers of Intelligent New Englanders. The usually go by the acronym FOULLINE. Thanks for commenting.

  4. Dave Says:

    Bottom of the 5th 10-1 Red Sox.
    This really is “Rocktober!!”

  5. Jill Calamari Says:

    Best quote of the season: Ken Rosenthal bottom of the 5th: “You have to look at the differences in the 2 leagues. In the NLCS Colorado went up against the Cubs who were overated offensively, and the D-Backs who were simply not good. And now Colorado has to deal with this.” “This” being the Red Sox. So great. Just wanted to make sure you guys got that, i thought you would find it as funny as i did. Oh, and dave i like your comparible on the mascots.

  6. Dave Says:

    Thanks Jill,
    I heard Ken Rosenthal say that and I started cracking up. He’s right, the NL doesn’t compare to the AL.
    Also, Dinger sucks.

    Go Red Sox!

  7. Chuck Norris Says:

    The Facts of this series:
    FACT: Boston is playing awesome
    FACT: Rockies SUCK!
    FACT: Sam Adams is the greatest beer ever
    FACT: Coors Light is SHIT!
    FACT: Cheers is the greatest TV series ever
    FACT: The TV series “Jeremiah”(WHO THE F EVER HEARD OF THAT) SUCKS!
    FACT: Boston, home of Dunkin Donuts
    FACT: Colorado is so stupid, they don’t know how to make their own damn donuts,so they steal ours
    FACT: The Standells are still alive
    FACT: John Denver…DEAD, just like the this series will be after game 4

  8. Dave Says:

    You just know things are going well for the Red Sox, when Chuck Norris is on their side.
    Thanks for commenting Chuck.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    You know, most people don’t have a problem with the actual Boston Red Sox. The main issue people have with the team isn’t the team at all, it’s their obnoxious fans.
    It’s game one…relax.

  10. Dave Says:

    Thanks for the advice, but I couldn’t be any more relaxed then I am right now. Watching the Rockies get their asses handed to them.

  11. Anonymous Says:

    Like I said…obnoxious. Thanks for proving my point David.

  12. Chuck Norris Says:

    to anonymous: All I have to do is concentrate a roundhouse kick in a western direction and crumble your precious Rockie Mountains. Watch what you say! Don’t get cute anonymous!

  13. Dave Says:

    Thanks for watching my back Chuck. You are always welcome at

    Go Sox!

  14. Anonymous Says:

    Chuck Norris–you are really scaring me with that bad ass name. Please, please chuck norris, don’t crumble my beloved Rocky Mountains. Good game Red Sox! See, that’s what us people out West call good sportmanship.

  15. Matt McLaughlin Says:

    I call that Dinger walking away with his tail between his legs. Wally kicked his ass.

    13 Runs, 17 Hits, and 1 ass kicking. This is Soxtober.

  16. Anonymous Says:

    Chuck Norris, is it true you slammed a revolving door once?? that’s amazing if you did. What’s not amazing is the Sox’ Devirginizing the Rockies in the world of real playoff baseball, it’s expected. Jill you’re right about Rosenthal’s comment, hillarious and true. Sox in 4. Thank you for your time, keep on keep keeping on Chuck!!!


    Dave, sorry about not getting back that text , left the phone in my truck.

  17. FitSmartz Says:

    I hope Colorado gives the Sox a little challenge – I mean c’mon, my wife and I went to bed during the 6th inning; we got dizzy as the sox were rounding the bases.

    Hey Colorado! Set your alarm clock for NOW!

  18. Anonymous Says:

    The godfather Dave,
    21-of there last 23. 23rd game was the wall, “the monster wall” If anonymous thinks were obnoxious fans maybe we should give the rockies some props, at least they scored one run off beckett. But for the sox the only person not to score a run was Wally the mascot.

  19. Dave Says:

    I think our Colorado fan may be a sensitive little fella. I thought we were pretty subdued in the obnoxious department, Oh well, I might be a little upset too if my team just got their assess spanked in the World Series.
    Thanks for commenting.

  20. Mr. Anonymous Says:

    Attention Red Sox Nation:
    You may have won game one, but you still have to win three more. The Rockies can come back, so WATCH OUT!
    Mr Foulline- please get your quotes correct. 63% of Colorado didn’t know there was a baseball team? That’s ridiculous!
    The reason the Rockies have Dinger as mascot is this…When they were building Coors Field, they unearthed dinosour bones.
    Chuck Norris- you’re an idiot.
    Jill the Squid- take it easy, you don’t want to “pull a hammy” jumping on the bandwagon.
    Go Rockies!

  21. Dave Says:

    Mr. Anonymous,
    Was this where they also unearthed the Cro-Mag man Todd Helton. Also I don’t remember seeing any purple and yellow breakdancing dinosaurs in my science book.
    You’re right about the poll. It wasn’t 63%, it was 72%. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

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